Kristin's ramblings

Blog cloud...cool

We got a phone call yesterday that a member of our church died. She hasn't been attending services because she was rather old and living in the Lodge in town, but she was there for Christmas Eve. It was unfortunate that her husband couldn't be there on Christmas Eve with her (he had the flu).

Anyhow, Rob loved going to visit her and her hubby at the Lodge. John and Muriel were 2 of his favourite people to visit. They are just so cute. Back when we rented The Notebook, Rob said that the couple reminded him of John and Muriel. They were living in the Lodge, but she was more ill and frail than he was. They would hold hands all the time, and loved to be together, even though they had separate rooms. Muriel passed away in her sleep yesterday. Rob went by to see John, and John was so happy that he had gotten to say goodnight and tuck her into bed the night before. John said that he had a feeling that something was different that night. Christmas Eve was their 64th Wedding anniversary, and they had been together since they were 15. Can you imagine? They had 8 children, 7 boys and one girl, and were very long time members of our church. In fact, the church started on John's parent's farm in their living room, and their family is much loved in these parts. Our church has it's 75th anniversary this year.

Rob is doing the funeral on Monday morning. They were originally going to do the service on Tuesday...but that's Valentine's day, which would be a really sad day to bury your spouse. Anyhow, Rob is feeling a touch sad today about it. Don't blame him.

I want to get some of these shirts.

how exciting that the snowplow came by today...and plowed the street in such a way that we don't have to shovel snow at the end of the driveway!

and how sad is it that I'm really excited by that? :) But seriously, anyone who curses the snowplow will understand the beauty of this action.

You know what else makes me happy? Late night long distance phone calls from friends, especially when I get to hear their new baby sounds in the background. Also sharing in the joy and wonder of new motherhood with that same friend.

I've created a new blog for my kids. Mainly to keep family up to date on stuff. Didn't want to let them into here, so I'm at liberty to whine about things that I don't need them to know about :) So if you want to keep up to date on my kids, follow the link on the sidebar.

Apparently my cry for more snow has been heard. It's snowing like stink out there right now. As in, it started less than an hour ago and we've already had about 2 cms. I'm so glad Rob is doing a grocery run and picking up hot chocolate mix, this is the kind of day for a hot chocolate. It's really pretty, if hard to see in.

I'm going to order some BabyLegs really soon, I'm so excited. Just need to pick the colours/patterns I want. Next week, I'll probably order them, after we get Rob's cheque and know how much we can spend. Norah has been wearing her new wool longies around the house all the time - she loves them. I love cloth diapes and all the fun stuff that goes with them!

what it feels like to come down with chicken pox? anyone???

Our fresh snow...and my messy van, which hasn't moved since Friday.  Gotta love being house bound and contagious

This was nice. A man that Rob has been visiting in his home and taking eucharist to just came by and cleared our driveway with his ATV and snowplow attachment. Nice.

Both girls are napping, and Isaac is avoiding it - even though he really needs one. I'm feeling rather lousy today myself.

The snow looks like rolled fondant icing on a cake, it's just beautiful. Don't want to walk outside and spoil the effect in the yard. The sun is out and making everything sparkly. The days are definitely longer now - the sun was up before 9am today.

As of tomorrow, we have officially been in this house one year. Wow. Better hang some pictures.

We finally got a nice dumping of snow. 6 inches or so. Nice. Now the sun is out and it's really mild...I maybe can take the kids out for a walk. If only I didn't feel quite so sick myself. :(

Ok - we got about 15 minutes of snow play in before Ruby needed to nurse and Norah pooped. It was beautiful snow...light and fluffy and cloud-like. Rob just got home and is shovelling out the driveway so he can get the car in. Even with the snow tires, he was spinning out. Norah still can't walk in the snow well, but she did enjoy it. Isaac enjoyed sweeping the snow off my van. :)

Norah has a lovely new doll sling. She loves carrying around her
babies in it. Thanks so much to Sarah (Rosie Took) and her SIL
for getting this to us. We love it!

Linden Paul arrived February 2 at 3:50 am. He weighed in at 8lbs
9oz and is 22 inches long. He's gorgeous and I can't wait to meet
him!

Red, itchy spots have infiltrated our home. They are slowly, but surely, creeping up Isaac's body. Leaving their marks on his torso, face and arms. Norah is showing some signs of a cold, but it could be more than that...

DARN CHICKEN POX!

Our house is open for anyone who wants to come for a pox party. I'll provide snacks, juice and coffee :)

now I get it. Why I can't be open with anyone at church as to why I'm feeling the way I am about living here. I'm not totally unhappy, because my hubby and kids are here. But I'm not happy about the town, and how the fitting in process is going. And I can't really be open with the people at church about it. Because it would seem like it's their fault. I can't tell people who have lived here for all or most of their lives that I hate their town and it's not friendly because a) it wouldn't be productive and b) it is because of them that we're here. bummer. can't be real.

A year ago we were already out of our old place and staying at my mom's for a couple of days. We were almost fully gone from Vancouver. We were a family of 4. We had no idea what the next year would hold. We were excited about the journey ahead. We were learning how much God could change our hearts.

Now, a year later. We are here. It's been a fast year, even if the days have been long. We are a family of 5. We have been stretched in ways we never thought about before we moved. We own a second vehicle. We have hosted house guests. We have mourned the loss of a family member. We realise how much we miss about living in a city. We spend less money, because there isn't anywhere to spend it. We see how God can bless our lives in ways we never thought would be blessings. We realise how hard it can be to make friends. We miss parts of our old lives, yet love parts of the new one. We realise how isolating this journey has been and how much worse it would be if we didn't have each other.

I have learned lots of things this year. I have learned I am capable of more than I ever thought. I am stronger than I realised, yet more fragile in other ways. My children have taught me so much and stretched me in so many ways. Their existance is a blessing beyond anything I could have hoped for, and I am beyond grateful for their presence in my life. I am thankful for naps. For giggles. For cuddles. For sloppy, wet and fish-faced kisses. For tears that require a mom's touch or kiss to fix. For the way they are a perfect blend of their father and I. For a husband who is an amazing father, and loves his children and isn't afraid to play with them.

This has been quite a year.

I hate Sundays. Really. I've said it. Hate them.

Church starts at 11 am. This is a sucky time. Really sucky. We are never finished before 12, I'm not home until closer to 1. This throws our entire day off. Right now, it's 3:30 and Norah isn't napping. She's totally tired, but still awake and playing peekaboo with herself in her crib. Her nap is completely thrown off on a Sunday. Isaac is in his room having quiet time, but he's tired too and won't nap. We miss the nap window on Sundays. It sucks. Especially that Norah gets tired while we're at church, so is often cranky there. No fun.

Then there is the fact that I'm alone until around 4:30. Rob doesn't get back from St. Georges until then. So that doesn't help with getting the kids to nap - if he were home, we could juggle the girls to help them both sleep. Because the service at St. Georges is at 2, it's an even worse time for the kids. And if the drive were a touch longer it would be easier, because they could sleep on the way. As it is, they are almost asleep when we get there, or have just fallen asleep. But it's too cold to stay in the van and let them sleep these days. And don't even get me started on how challenging the service there can be, with nowhere to take them and no bathrooms.

To add to it all, tonight, Rob has the service at the Lodge to do at 6:30. And because nobody is napping, we probably won't be going. Which is a shame, because all the seniors really enjoy seeing the kids when we have gone along.

Then Rob gets home. He's tired and needs to decompress, and I just need his help to keep the kids out of my hair so I can cook dinner, feed the baby, and all that stuff.

I'm tempted to stop going to services on Sunday. But it's what we do. It's also one of the only things TO DO all week. I like to get out and maybe have a conversation with another adult. Isaac enjoys Sunday school, at least he doesn when there are other kids there. Sigh. I just wish there were an easy answer.

I want Rob to change the service times, but I know that it will be met with resistance. But you know what? For a church that wants to be a place for young families to go to, an 11 am service time stinks. I hope we can do something about it. It just stinks that the priest's family is having to suck it up in the meantime...

The children just keep growing. It's like Ruby is trying to catch up to Norah. Who, in turn, is trying to catch up to Isaac. Ruby at not quite 3 months, is bigger than Norah was at 7 month, and Isaac at 5. She's the fastest gowing baby I think I've ever seen. She even seems older than her age. She's so responsive to people, it's really lovely to watch.

But back to growing kids. I can't get I to try on clothes. I'm convinced that he's outgrown stuff, but can't manage to get it on him to see. I just want to do it in one sitting, try stuff on and see how it fits, but he is not to be convinced. Even if I'm right about what is too small, he's still got lots of clothes - especially navy pants. This kid could go for days on navy pants.

Today, I'm wishing I was in Vancouver. I want to go window shopping on Granville St or West 4th, take the kids to Granville Island, get a lovely latte and stroll around. I think I get nostalgic for Granville Island when Isaac needs a haircut. The kids salon there was so great, even if it was pricey. He really needs a haircut - in fact, he tells me that every morning.

Oh, and I'm getting an itch to dye my hair something bright and bold again. Any suggestions or ideas? Now to convince Rob...

I should really be cleaning the kitchen right now, or doing laundry. But my brain is turning. I'm thinking about a birth control thread on GCM that's bugging me. I'm thinking about how messy my kitchen is. I'm thinking about how proud I am that Isaac pooped in the toilet today on his own.
Mainly though I'm thinking about me. The impact I may or may not be having on the world around me. My existance and how much it "is".

I have a good friend, and anytime we go somewhere, people recognize her. Seriously, everywhere we go (or used to, she and I don't live near each other right now). I never have that. In fact, I'm totally taken aback when someone recognizes me. Like I expect to fade into the background. As if I don't expect anyone to notice me at all. Strange.

When I was in high school, I went back to NS to visit a family friend. We had gone to school together in Quebec, and had since moved to NS to a town really close to where I had lived until grade 3. She was actually in the high school I would have attended had we not moved away years before. And funny enough, while I was there for 2 days, a girl I had been in kindergarten with called. Meghan said, "I wonder if you would remember the person who is at my house right now". And she did, and even said that a group of people had been talking about the "kids who left" and my name came up. That floored me. A good 8 years after I had moved away, someone remembered me.

So I guess people do remember me. But it seems strange that anyone should. That I should stick out enough for someone to take notice. I wonder what's with that, where my brain is, what's behind those thoughts. Do I not think I'm worthy enough to notice or remember. Do I just think I'm forgettable. I wonder what my issue is.

That's what I'm thinking about tonight. *shrug* kind of depressing actually.

hear my drill!

I bought a drill today. Can you believe we've been married almost 10 years and only just bought a power tool? But living so close to my dad, we had access to most tools. *blush*, but I usually just got my dad to do stuff for me. So now, we're on our own, in a house, we need power tools. So we have a drill. And it's great. I mounted the wall lamp (ikea, star one) in I's room today with it. I'm so proud of myself, I called my dad to brag. He's tickled pink. I guess this is what comes from marrying a man who has no mechanical inclination whatsoever, and is mostly brainy. :)

Oh, and it's my mom's birthday today. She bought herself something nice....a HOUSE! She's in Saskatoon right now, and bought herself a lovely little bungalow with a finished basement. Lots of space for us to come and visit...but not much yard to play in. But that's ok. She moves in March 15th. Only 6 weeks away.....woo hoo!

Rob was off in November, for Ruby's birth. He grew a beard again. I really missed it. When he got home yesterday, I realised just how huge it had gotten. Wow. Tickles my nose when we kiss.

I managed it. 36 hours on my own with the kids. Rob was gone for work and had to overnight in PA, so I was all alone. And it was ok...

I got everyone up, dressed and out the door by 9 am yesterday to drop Isaac off at playschool. Took the girls for groceries and to check out fabric at another store in town. Dropped the groceries at home, and was back to pick I up by 11. Managed to prepare lunch - no convienence food either. Then got everyone *yes, everyone, including me for a 1/2 hour* down for naps. Went for a walk in the afternoon, it was really mild, just below freezing. Made dinner - frozen pizza, can't be all good. Then Melissa came over in the evening for hot cider and conversation. Yay! And then I got both I and N down to bed too. Melissa and I had a nice evening, and Rob was able to call and check in around 11:30. He had a busy day.

Here's the best part...ALL 3 KIDS SLEPT ALL NIGHT. Granted, R was up with me past midnight, but I didn't wake up again until 8:30 when N woke up. I was shocked. It was lovely. At least, I'm pretty sure R didn't wake up. I could be wrong.

Then today, off for an event at the college. A literacy day music and craft event for preschoolers. All of us up and dressed and out by 10. Great morning, singing songs, dancing...and I made a really cute guitar (I being Isaac, not *me*, although I did help) out of a kleenex box. He's been walking around singing with it since we got home. Very cute. N discovered popcorn today, they had some bags of it for the kids. I had to break it all up for her so she wouldn't choke, but the little mooch would not be deterred from eating it. She was after everyone's popcorn, so I had to keep on top of her while nursing R in the sling. Got home, made lunch, got N down for her nap. Then Rob got home around 2. All good. I'm so proud of myself, and the house is still rather tidy too. Oh, and dinner is cooking in the crock pot as I type. Go me!

Especially good since we're currently on a Green Eggs and Ham kick here.

Dr. Seuss For Nursing Moms

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Would you nurse her in the park?
Would you nurse him in the dark?
Would you nurse him with a Boppy?
And when your boobs are feeling floppy?

I would nurse him in the park,
I would nurse her in the dark.
I'd nurse with or without a Boppy.
Floppy boobs will never stop me.

Can you nurse with your seat belt on?
Can you nurse from dusk till dawn?
Though she may pinch me, bite me, pull,
I will nurse her `till she's full!

Can you nurse and make some soup?
Can you nurse and feed the group?
It makes her healthy, strong and smart,
Mommy's milk is the best start!

Would you nurse him at the game?
Would you nurse her in the rain?
In front of those who dare complain?
I would nurse him at the game.
I would nurse her in the rain.

As for those who protest lactation,
I have the perfect explanation.
Mommy's milk is tailor made
It's the perfect food, you need no aid.

Some may scoff and some may wriggle,
Avert their eyes or even giggle.
To those who can be cruel and rude,
Remind them breast's the perfect food!

I would never scoff or giggle,
Roll my eyes or even wiggle!
I would not be so crass or crude,
I KNOW that this milk's the perfect food!

We make the amount we need,
The perfect temp for every feed.
There's no compare to milk from breast-
The perfect food, above the rest.

Those sweet nursing smiles are oh so sweet,
Mommy's milk is such a treat.
Human milk just can't be beat.

I will nurse, in any case,
On the street or in your face.
I will not let my baby cry,
I'll meet her needs, I'll always try.
It's not about what's good for you,
It's best for babies, through and through.

I will nurse her in my home,
I will nurse her when I roam.
Leave me be lads and ma'am.
I will nurse her, Mom I am.

Yay! Joey (Joseph) John was born at 4:30 this morning. Apparently, it was only 30 minutes from when she got into active labor until he was born. Oh my! I'm hoping to get over to see her this afternoon, if Isaac will settle for a rest.

And Isaac seems to have a tummy bug. He threw up again this morning...while eating breakfast. Nice. Rob was sitting there and caught it all in his bowl. Ew. Then Isaac asked for a new bowl of cheerios. Nope, he was done. I'm proud of Rob for handling it so well. Puking is never a fun one to deal with. But he almost knew it was coming, Isaac got up this morning, walked into the kitchen and laid down on the floor. That's a good sign your kid isn't well.

Oh and an election scandal. Our sitting MP got ousted in the final poll return really late last night. He ended up losing by 106 votes and is now alleging voting irregularities. There will be an investigation and a recount. Interesting.....

There was not much napping, but there was plenty of poop to go around. Such was my day - how was yours?


Robeez released their new spring/summer styles today. I'm gushing over them. I love the snail and the strawberry. Either of them would be a nice compliment to the hand me down burgundy butterfly pair that Ruby will be wearing pretty quick. I also think the crab and the shark are cute too. I love these shoes for kids.

Rob and I both in the last couple of days have come up with practically the same idea. Totally without talking to each other about, as we were praying for ideas as to what to do about our church situation. (situation being that we need the church to grow in order for Rob to still have a job there, as finances across our diocese are really tight and all churches need to become financially independant, also that our church is mainly filled with older - as in retirement age - people) Our church has said that they want to reach out to young families and younger people, but it isn't happening. We did have a new family in church this week, but when the priest's kids make up the majority of the Sunday school, there aren't a lot of young families. It's feeling like a Holy Spirit leading...we're praying for more guidance on this.

Back to our thoughts. Last night, we were talking (way too late, of course) and both of us brought up the idea of having a mid-week service. Early evening, family friendly, more contemporary. Kind of like Sunday@7 used to be for us...but not on Sunday. It could really be a good thing. Given our town's location, so many people aren't in town on weekends, either for sports, shopping, whatever. Weekdays could be an interesting option for those who are not around on weekends. Our biggest challenge would be music. We don't have anyone who could lead more contemporary music right now. We may have a lead on a guitar player (who isn't always around on weekends) but not sure how much she could commit, or if she would be interested.

Anyhow, we both really feel led towards doing something like this. If you are reading this, please pray for us in going forward in planning this...and that we could find a way to do music for it. Maybe some of our friends in BC who did the Sunday@7 band should take a road trip.....hint, hint. ;) I would just love to see our church grow, not just number-wise (but that is great too), but faith-wise.

Did my civic duty. Voted. It's not easy voting for the least offensive party, instead of making a choice for something I can really go for. Nobody was really *winning* my vote in this election. It was more of who was making me the least mad. Couldn't find much info on our local Liberal candidate, all of his material was rather vague in terms of promises and ideas. His one major *marketing* point of view was that he is Native - which is a big deal here. I'm in a huge (land-wise) riding, with a very large percentage of the population being Native. But really, that was all he had to offer from what I could see.

So I voted Conservative. I just hope we get a change of government. More variety. I would love to see some Green Party candidates win. More NDP. Less Bloc, because I really don't want to break up the country. Then again, I was born in Quebec...would that make me a dual citizen? lol

Oh - brush with fame....went to vote at the same time as our current MP. Wouldn't have really recognized him (need new glasses), but the SUV with his name on the side helped me place his face. :)

bed is done, headboard finished. I stuck glow in the dark stars on his ceiling today too. It looks great. Only complaint is that when the bed is in there, on the only wall that is long enough for the bed without covering the heating vent, it covers both outlets. That's strange. And annoying.

This morningwas strange. Isaac threw up. I can count on one hand the number of times this kid has thrown up in his life. Norah and Isaac were playing on his bed before church, and he just threw up. Strange. Maybe the new bed is too bouncy? Or maybe he just had to break it in...

Had our AGM today at church, after a potluck lunch. I brought spicy bean enchiladas and they were very well liked and talked about :) I got to use my new potluck casserole dish with warming gel pack and transport bag. I'm such a dork for thinking this is such an exciting thing. And we had a new family at church too. Yes, you read that right, FAMILY. 2 kids, age 7 and 9. Yay! They had fun at Sunday School too. I made sure they did. I love our SS organisers, but they aren't too tuned in with making things fun and interesting for kids. We're currently doing a Noah's Ark theme, and I had to make sure that I retold the story, and included the covenant part. The other women totally left out the whole rainbow part. You know, the important part. I'm actually enjoying sitting in on SS and helping out. I hope they don't mind it, but it's easier to be there than to juggle the girls during the service.

woo hoo! Isaac's new bed arrived at the Sears depot in town yesterday. I went to pick it up with the van, but the woman wouldn't let me take it, telling me to "get some help, go get a strong man" She was really quite a cow about it. roll eyes. Anyhow, loaded the girls into the van, took Isaac's car seat out of the back and flattened it out, Rob and Isaac took the Camry and we all went and got it. Yes, the bed was heavy, but we got it in the van. The mattress was super light, and so was the headboard. I so could have done it myself...ok, maybe with a bit of help.

Got home, got it all in the house. Moved the other bed out, and got ready to set the new one up! I had to move all the furniture around in Norah's room to make room for Isaac's old bed. It took forever to find the screwdriver piece to set the ends of the bed up too. But it's all in there now...if more than a little crowded with furniture. Norah's room will be better when we take the big green armchair out, but right now, we really need it there. It just seemed to make sense to keep the Ikea bed upstairs instead of trying to lug it downstairs.

Isaac's new bed went together really well. It looks great, and he seems really pleased with it. We still have to do the headboard, but Rob says he'll do it during the hockey game tonight. (Go Canucks Go) It's hard to believe my little guy is old enough for a real bed....

We have the church's AGM tomorrow, with a potluck lunch. I'm really excited to use the potluck dish MIL bought me for Christmas. It's a pyrex dish, with a cover, carrying case and a heating pad thingy for transporting. Honestly, it's the most exciting gift she's ever bought me!

Michelle and the girls were over this morning. I wouldn't be shocked if she has the baby in the next 48 hours. Wow, her girls really make my kids look easy to handle. Jordan is really pushy and Jacey is agressive. Michelle is very laid back with them, I'm assigning positive intent that she's just too pregnant to do much else...but I'm not totally convinced. So, I found myself jumping in quite a bit to handle things as they came up. I did a lot of redirecting and coaching of the kids. That's ok though, kept Norah from getting bitten at one point. Hope she didn't mind, but my house, my kids stay safe!

My one complaint about my new friend Michelle - she doesn't drink coffee. I will have to fix that....(insert evil laugh here)

oh - our washer is fixed. Finally, after a week without it. We have tonnes of laundry to catch up on, as you can imagine. Shows us just how much clothing our kids have though! Only Ruby was running dangerously low, and the older kids were out of pjs...but only because they make such a mess of them at breakfast every morning.

So the repair guy was in town today (only once a week...small town) and came by. The problem with the washer was that it wasn't turning on. Rob takes the guy downstairs, says "so, the knob turns, but doesn't pull out...like this" and the knob pulls out and water starts running. Ya, just what it hasn't been doing all week! Rob says, "really, it hasn't been doing this at all!" But it really wasn't working properly because of all the water that fell on it when the bathtub leaked last week. So it got serviced, lubed and cleaned. Funny though, only worked when the repair guy was here. Oh well, off to deal with Mt. Clothing...

Michelle, my friend (only one here) is due to have her baby any day now. Her third. Her 2 girls are both a bit older than my kids. She's currently at 3 cms. I'm really hoping she goes into labor late tonight. Why? Because I'm going to watch her girls while she's at the hospital with her DH. So if she goes into labor tonight, Rob will be home tomorrow so I won't be home with 5 kids under age 4 at once! So, really, it's all about me. :) I know she's also getting anxious to be done, this is actually the longest she has been pregnant, both of her girls were early.

It's strange having a local friend again! She calls to chat...I kind of forget how to do that with someone who isn't long distance. Speaking of calling, I should give her a call pretty quick to check in.

Michelle's hubby knows what gender the baby is, but she doesn't. I don't know how he hasn't let it slip, or how she hasn't dragged it out of him yet!

I *heart* this magazine. It's not too crunchy for more mainstream parents, so it has broad appeal. However, it really has some good things to say from a more crunchy point of view. I really love John Hoffman's articles. Most of what he writes is from a left-of-centre viewpoint, and is quite balanced. His editorial on breastfeeding, Stop Blaming Nursing Moms was excellent. This month, he has a really good article on SIDS advice - nicely balanced, in my opinion. It's nice to read an article that doesn't condemm parents for co-sleeping.

Today Isaac decided to say that he doesn't love Rob. Apparently, because Rob works downstairs and doesn't play all day and is busy, Isaac doesn't love him anymore. It was heartbreaking to hear Isaac tell Rob why he doesn't love him, and Rob explaining that HE will love Isaac anyways and always. Too cute.

It's been snowing since just before 9 am. It's been really snowing. We've had at least 2 inches so far. So pretty.

Thanks for the pictures.  Add my name to
the list of people who think that
because you two have a powerful combination
of genes for beautiful baby
making, you shouldn't stop procreating
until you can't any more.

And how could I not agree... We have been
told by more than a handful
of people that we have the cutest
kids in this town :)

Parenting. It's hard sometimes. Kids don't have an off button, even when they are sleeping. They demand all you have some days and still need more. And that's their job. They rely on their parents because they aren't able to do it themselves, and it's the parents job to care for them, love them and nurture them. It is a great opportunity to model selfless, sacrifical love. You know, the kind Jesus had.

So why are so many people so selfish in their parenting? Children are a blessing, a gift from God....but yet so many children are treated like they are curses. That their presence is an inconvienence to their parents. Cramping their style. Making their lives hard. Today I was at a drop in playgroup and I overheard 2 moms talking. One mother was saying how hard it was with her 3 kids - age 8, 3 and newborn. How much she appreciated her mother being there to help her out as she transitioned to life with her new son. I understand that....then she started talking about how she wanted another baby. Great, I get that too, sure. THEN she went on to say how she wanted to hire a nanny for her kids....so she could get the nanny to deal with them and how she (the mom) could keep the house clean. WHAT? Why have kids if you want to hire someone to raise them so you can keep your house clean??? What's the point of that? (don't even get me started on how both these moms were all "$900 a month for a nanny, that's nothing. $900 is a lot of cash in my books! Heck for that price, I'll raise your kids for you!) Why have children if you would rather a clean house? If I had the money I would pay someone to clean my house so I could raise my kids! Now that makes sense. I would love to have a staff so I could spend way more time nurturing my kids instead of maintaining my house and preparing meals.

The people who spend more time and energy on their DOGS than they do on their children. Let their dogs sleep in their beds, but heaven forbid their child comes in for a snuggle. Dogs aren't children. They don't even come close. For goodness sakes, dogs like to roll in things that stink! Kids are bathed much more easily when they smell. ;)

While typing this, Norah woke up from her nap. I went into her room to get her and she immediately started jumping up and down in her crib, saying "mum, mum, mum" and she gave me a huge hug and kiss when I picked her up. How could I pass that up for housecleaning? A vaccuum will never love you back. A trip can be taken when your kids get older. Your dog may love you lots, but you will never get a meaningful conversation out of your dog while you bake cookies together.

Sure, parenting can be hard, but the rewards are amazing. There may be hard days, days harder than I can even imagine right now. But any day at home is better than a day without my kids. They have taught me so much about love, sacrifice and joy. I thank God for them daily.

So sorry your kids are an inconvienence.

ehhh. wasing machine doesn't seem to be working. we're needing to do some serious laundry. large load of cloth diapes in washer right now...but nothing happening. and there is still water in the carpet from the tub drain failing - at least it's fixed, but now the washer isn't working. fun.

my mom is moving. She has pretty much sold her place in Vancouver, it's all paperwork now. I'm so happy for her. Her place, in the 5 years she lived there, just over doubled in price, so it's going to work out nicely for her. She is probably going to buy a place in the next 2 weeks...in Saskatoon! So she will only be 3 hours drive from here!!! I'm so excited. For her, for us...

She won't have to work unless she wants to, because of the price differences between the 2 cities. She can travel really easily, as S'toon has a pretty decent airport and is central to most of her closest friends. She will still only be 2 hours air time from my sister in Vancouver. She can buy a house outright and get back to gardening in the summers, something she couldn't do in her condo. She can have the retirement life she wants, and early too, since she's not 60 yet. She is looking at the cutest little houses ever - older, gorgeous hardwood floors, cute styles...all the things a grandmother's house should be! I'm so happy for her. She deserves this, she's earned it.

As for us, it's really nice too. Selfish point of view ahead....Not only will we have family close by, our kids won't be too far from all their grandparents. We can take some mini-trips to *the big city* and not have to pay for a hotel, we can go shopping in a place with real stores (not just StuffMart), and not have to cram it into a day trip...we can even leave the kids with mom and go shopping! Yay for no melt downs in StuffMart, unless we have one ;) We can take the kids to activities in S'toon, the museums, the parks, and not have to leave the house at 6am to do it. And I'll be closer to my mom.

I'm really excited for her because it's a brand new adventure. She doesn't know anyone there, and that's exciting for her. She can leave the office life behind and have a life. I challenged her to leave this in God's hands, and she has, it's all falling into place nicely. Now that my grandmother has died, mom's ties to Vancouver aren't what they were, so she is now fully an empty nester ready to start *her* time. I'm beyond thrilled for her.

I'm getting really cranky over sarcasm. The more I hear it, the less I like it. Really, when you get down to it, it's not funny. It's mean. People try to explain it away "I didn't mean it"....um, but you SAID it, so you did think it. I just don't have the patience for that. It's like a passive/aggressive way to tell somebody what you think, and then hiding it behind your tone. If you don't like something, say it. I just don't like hearing it anymore. I used to use it a lot, in lots of situations. Now I see that it's just hostile, at least 90% of the time.

And you know what makes me even more upset? When people use sarcasm towards children. That is really mean. Kids don't get it. They can't tell the difference between sarcasm being "playing" and adults just being mean. It's not fair to do that to kids. Growing up, my dad used it a lot with my sister and I. I really remember how it made me feel. I doubted so much of what he told me, and HATED feeling like he was making fun of me. It was degrading, humiliating, and didn't make me feel good about myself. I bet if I told him that he would feel awful. Yes, our job as parents or other adults of influence in a child's life is to protect them, not always to make kids 'feel good' about themselves - you can't help hurting a child's feelings when you have to correct them sometimes. I'm not advocating treating a child with kid gloves to protect them from any "emotional harm", they will get their feelings hurt sometimes. But we should never put a child down for our own amusement. That's just cruel. To use a cliche, would Jesus do that to a child? I'm guessing that the answer would be no. So why do it to a child? Why do it to someone we love? For that matter, why do it to an adult?

It only took 11 months. But we had a playdate today. And it was good. I have a friend. Nice.

AND I managed to buy the cartridges for the music blocks online today. Woo hoo for online stores finally restocking!

Our shopping trip went well. Mostly. Got Norah her shoes, bought the chandelier, I got some pants. The roads were clear and mostly dry. Saw only one deer, but it was already dead on the shoulder...ick. Only 2 of the kids melted down in StuffMart. We were bummed that the play area at the Burger King was closed for maintenance, so we went to McD's, which also had a play area. One of our goals while out of town is to eat where we can't at home, but we were a little stuck because of the play area situation.

I really wonder why our local McD's doesn't have a play zone. There is absolutely NO place in this town to take your kids to play inside in the winter. Really makes me miss Vancouver's rec centres drop in times. $3 for 2 hours in a heated, clean gym with ride on toys, some balls and other assorted toys and FREEDOM to run around like mad. Those were lovely days.....

We've got a playdate in the morning. I'm so excited. Well, unless the mom goes into labor that is. She's due with #3 any day now. House is tidy enough. Need to get some oj out of the deep freeze, may get some banana bread too. I'm excited to have another adult to talk to! Saturdays are always a not so fun day here.

Had a great phone conversation tonight with a friend expecting her first baby. I'm so excited for her. She shared some really nice things that people had told her about my kids, AND told me that our conversation was really encouraging to her. Nice to know I can still have a good effect on people even though I'm so far away. I love my long distance plan.

This will be Isaac's new bed.  It's a full sized twin, with the

headboard.  We're hoping it lasts until he moves out! 

This is Isaac's current bed, but in white. We're going to paint it and the toddler bed to match. Both ends fold down to take it from a toddler sized bed to a twin. We will need to get some sheets made to fit it.

I really hope it stops snowing. I want to go shopping tomorrow! And if it's still snowing, we won't go. I really need to get the van's wipers fixed so I can see while I drive. I have GOT to get out of town for the day. Just have to.

This is quickly becoming a house of no naps. Day 2 that Norah is fighting sleep tooth and nail. It's painful, for all of us. If she doesn't nap, she is horribly cranky come 5 pm. Ruby needs to poop and isn't sleeping well right now. Isaac is tired too, and really needs a nap today. I need a nap - Ruby had a rougher night last night and I don't think I fell asleep until around 3.

I'm feeling really emotionally fragile right now. I need more sleep, even though I seem to be getting plenty. I'm easily irritated and snappy. I blew up at Rob last night over a whack of things. Dragging stuff up that totally wasn't relevant. I think I'm hovering on the edge of depression, but not quite sure what to do about it. I don't feel anywhere near bad enough to need meds, but I'm not totally coping well on my own either. I told Rob that I just didn't feel like myself and haven't felt like myself in ages. He claims that I don't seem different, but more changed - like one would expect given all our situational changes in the last 5 years. Since January 2001 we have moved house 4 times, including the big one eastward. I finished school, and worked, we did a couple of summers working at camp, Rob graduated and went into ministry. My grandmother died, I'm dealing with the junk of my parent's separation, most of my friends either moved away (or we did) I had a pretty serious car accident...and add in 3 kids to the mix. No wonder I feel out of things.

It's like I'm swimming underwater sometimes, and everything looks blurry. I can't remember how to focus, how to hold a conversation, how to make a friend, how it feels to have fun. Beyond the front doors of my house that is. Rob's worried that I'm blaming him for how things are in our lives right now. And really, to a point, I am. I told him as much. But really, I only blame him when he's not talking to me about stuff. When he's trying not to burden me with his stresses because he's trying to protect me and help me, that's when I'm most frustrated with him. But I don't want to be treated like I can't handle stuff. Sure, there are days I can't - we all have those days. I need him to involve me with his days - for goodness sake, I don't have anyone else to talk to! It's when him and I are being each other's best friends that everything else falls nicely into place.

Ok, enough rambling on about random thoughts. I'm currently hiding in the kitchen at the laptop. Both Isaac and Norah are in their rooms, not napping, but mostly quiet. It's close to a break. Ruby has nodded off and I've moved her to the bouncy seat. I'm blissfully free of children for a little while. Need to take advantage of that and get some cleaning done. This kitchen, which is driving me crazy because it's laid out in such an unworkable way, really needs me to give it a going over and re-working. Fun...

I'm so excited. We are going shopping! Sad, isn't it, to be so excited? But it's a big day out. 3 hours of driving round-trip and lots of planning. The joy of living far from stores. We're making up our list now. A block heater for Isaac's room - the kid's rooms are so cold at night and Norah has been sleeping so much better since we put one in her room. Shoes for Norah - hope we can find some dressy shoes. Poor kid inherited my wide feet and I've been forcing her feet into a pair of mary janes that just aren't wide enough for her toes for too many Sundays. But look what I'm going to buy for what will become the girl's bedroom! It's on sale at Canadian Tire...

So today I had to go get some groceries. Yes, I know, did it yesterday. But was out of some things I forgot about yesterday. This is why I obsessively write lists for when I shop. Anyhow, back to today. By the time I got myself and both girls dressed and ready to go out and into the van, it was 10:38. Hmmm, Isaac needed to be picked up from playschool by 11, preferably by 10:55. Wasn't looking likely to fit the grocery trip before then, especially at the potentially slug-like Extra foods.

So I took all three kids. Isaac walking, Norah in the front of the cart, and Ruby sleeping peacefully in her bucket, in the cart. Once again, leaving me about enough room for a bag of bagels, some produce and a bag of diapers (the backup bag, or for when Norah is wearing a dress that won't fit over cloth). That was it. I miss the big carts at Superstore. The ones where you can put 2 kids in the front, and still have a pile of room for food. In all, wasn't a horrible experience. I have to do more groceries this week again, but I will do my best to get out the door in time to go before Isaac's playschool is over.

Menu planning. That's what this is all about. I'm back to menu planning again. I am one of those crazy people who actually enjoys this activiy! It really helps to have a huge deepfreeze. So I have thrown together our menus from now until the end of the month. Now I just have to get my shopping done. Oh, great resource is http://www.cookingfortherushed.com/healthy_family.htm This book has some wonderful looking recipies that are healthy, easy and quick. The trio of things I look for in a recipe! The author of the book, Sandi Richard has her own show on the Food Network in Canada and has 7 kids, so she knows something about planning meals for families! I can't wait to get going, and if her recipies are as easy and good as what we had tonight, I think this could really work!

Tonight I went to the ACW meeting. Not terribly exciting night out. A meeting of the church women, of whom I am by far the youngest. They have all been married longer than I have been alive. But it's part of the job to go... They are all lovely women, and some are really funny too. In a good way funny.

Tomorrow morning I need to get up early and get on the treadmill. I will do this. I will.

No shocker here. Journalism...I did actually take some Journalism courses in my Public Relations program. No wonder I did so well in them.... As for English being second, once again, no shocker. but Math...that's new! You scored as Journalism. You are an aspiring journalist, and you should major in journalism! Like me, you are passionate about writing and expressing yourself, and you want the world to understand your beliefs through writing. Journalism 92% English 83% Linguistics 75% Mathematics 67% Philosophy 67% Theater 67% Art 67% Psychology 67% Dance 50% Sociology 50% Anthropology 42% Engineering 33% Biology 17% Chemistry 8% What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3) created with QuizFarm.com

i get frustrated when I can't park out front at church. Today, I had to park a half block away. Normally, not a long distance...but not so short when hauling a 28 pound toddler who can't walk in the snow yet, an almost 17 pound baby in a bucket car seat and a diaper bag. All while trying to keep a preschooler right next to me. Ya, that's no fun. And I don't think it would be any easier to put Ruby in the sling because she wouldn't be warm enough, because we can't load her up with a heavy jacket in the car seat, so all her warmth is from her fuzzy blue shearling GoCozy and extra blanket. Not exactly the best way to enter into worship...all cranky, sweaty and feeling like your back is going to hurt. Well, at least it was only -7, could have been much colder!

Oh, and then I took all 3 kids to the grocery store. We survived, but thankfully it was a short trip. That was a first, if you don't count the time I put both girls in the double stroller and let Isaac walk. This was a genuine "get a cart and buy some milk" grocery trip.

We're redoing Isaac's bedroom really soon. Ordered him a new bed from Sears today. This is the bed...well, can't get the link to work... His old bed will go to Norah. We're going to paint the old bed and the toddler bed we have the same colour - they are currently different shades of white. Ruby will eventually move into the crib Norah is in, Norah will take over the Ikea bed - it's the VIKARE bed, in white. It folds into a full-size twin, but can be smaller. Nice for a little one.
When Ruby moves out of the crib, she will have the toddler bed. Keeping up with this? Then we won't have to buy a second crib mattress for the toddler bed, since we will only have one crib mattress in use at one time.

Phew! That's tiring!

Anyhow, Isaac gets a new, big boy bed. He's already got some bedding, but we're going to have to buy him some new bottom sheets. I'm wondering what colour to paint his walls. I would like to keep them the wheat tone they are, but he's scratched the paint up...only one coat on there it seems. (suggestions welcome...) He's asking for orange, or red, yellow and blue, but that seems a touch bright.

When Norah moves into the Ikea bed, she's going to need some sheets. I wonder how hard sheets would be to make, given the strange dimensions of that mattress. To be honest, I would love to get matching sheets made for the girls. I saw some gorgeous flannelette fabric in the local fabric store (yes, *I* was in a fabric store, not for fabric mind you). Almost makes me want to take up sewing. Almost....

Ruby was weighed today. At 2 months of age (and five days), she is 16lbs 13oz. That is almost double her birth weight! wow. that's all.

Today, I actually managed to get pigtails in Norah's hair. They were adorable, and no, I didn't get any photos. I snuck up on her during Dora and got them in. Then Isaac asked for some too. So I did. His looked hilarious, sticking straight up out of his head. He then said that he was a bunny, that the pigtails were his ears and that he needed to jump. So we all jumped. Then I needed bunny ears too. (good thing the camera was nowhere to be seen!) Isaac apparently is a carnivirous bunny as he told me his bunny only ate meat and small animals (???).

Rob came home in the middle of this. Was a little surprised to see Isaac with the pigtails...then he saw Norah and just melted. She was pretty cute. That girl has her daddy wrapped around her finger for sure.

Now, to be honest, I didn't go out in it. The problem is that the freezing rain froze the sliding doors of my van shut! I took Isaac to preschool today, and despite remote starting the van a good 8 minutes before going outside, the doors would not open. So Isaac got into the van from the tail. That was interesting.... Especially interesting to drive with the door beeping at me, telling me it was open...when clearly, it was not. I just couldn't get it fully closed due to the ice!

He had to get in the van that way after preschool too, but by the time he and I made it to the bank, they had thawed. I think despite my earlier reservations, I will park in the garage, as Rob wants me to.

You know, I'm thinking about just how amazing God's timing is. Yesterday, I was having a bit of a mommy meltdown. Couldn't find Isaac's tuque (boy, that word looks wrong...). Had to go to the bank - where I can't fit the double stroller in the door. So I was freaking out trying to figure out how to get out with all 3 kids and only a single stroller. I hadn't slept well, so I was cranky too. Was SO glad Rob was working from home and emerged from the downstairs office just in time for me to hit my worst point...and bailed me out. (wiping brow in relief!) He's such a great dad.

Anyhow, at that moment, the phone rang. A good (but long distance - aren't they all?) friend. Having a worse day than me. Needing a bit of a phone hug and some encouragement. I could do that! And I hopefully did, I'm sure she will let me know otherwise ;) What I learned from this phone call is that really, it could be worse. If my biggest issue is where my kid's hat is and how to manage 3 kids who sleep at night and with a husband who impresses me with his skills with said kids - life is pretty good. Great in fact. Thanks for the opportunity to feel ok with how things are going here. amen.

Yesterday's moments of perfection:

Standing in kitchen, baby in sling, stirring homemade cider. Watching hubby and older kids play in backyard snow. Son comes inside stating "I'm just so cold mom, so cold. Daddy threw snow on me, I'm done". Offer son cup of cider. He is skeptical, asks for hot chocolate. I give cider and urge him to try. He tastes, eyes light up, puts down mug and claps hands "this is delicious mom, thanks".

beautiful moment. These are the times I am beyond thankful that I am a mother.