that's sexy

Right now, Rob is outside, checking out my van. He's trying to see if he can fix the driver's side wiper before my road trip tomorrow. As Paris Hilton would say "that's so hot".

I wonder what else I can get him to do around the house if I tell him it's sexy....hmmm

Oh, and Isaac slept in until 9:50. He must be working that cold out.

***EDIT***

He fixed it. 6 months of a non-working drivers side wiper, and he fixed it in 10 minutes. I love him so much!

I am mom

and I wipe noses. Another round of illness - this time colds. They seem to be fast moving, which is nice. Isaac has mastered blowing his nose (finally!), and Norah is very good at identifying that she needs a wipe. That helps. All 3 kids napped on Sunday afternoon, which was beautiful, especially the half hour of overlap between them all.

Isaac and I have started reading Charlotte's Web at the start of his rest time. A chapter a day. So far so good. He was sad that the Avery in the book is not a little girl, like the Avery who comes to our small group on Tuesday nights. Tonight, he begged for more spinach salad during dinner. We went for a walk today as a family, and he managed to find the deepest puddles in town to wade in. He actually was able to dump water out of his boots when we got home!

2 more sleeps until Saskatoon! To see mom's new place. I'm going shopping! Please Mum, Old Navy, pics of the kids at Sears, Starbucks. I'm so excited. Seriously excited. I haven't had a Starbucks bar drink since...July. Can you believe that? Me. Since JULY??? Shocking, I know. I really wish my espresso machine worked. Wait, maybe I can get it fixed in Saskatoon! They have a place there....I'm calling in the morning.

and it's snowing again. Rob reminded me that it did snow last year at the end of April. But come on already....spring needs to come! I am looking forward to the mud pit that will be our yards. At least, I think I am.

I really need to stop...

...thinking I'm getting ahead. Then something always jumps in my way.

Like this morning. I managed to get 2 kids fully dressed, one partially dressed, have breakfast, get all my Sunday School lesson stuff ready to go and get dinner in the crockpot. By 9:30. Woo hoo, right? Nope. Then I got in the shower. And fell out. Yes, I fell out of the shower. Not quite sure how it happened. But it did. And it hurt. I landed on the toilet, in two places. I am getting more and more sore as I type this. I also took the shower curtain liner down with me. I hope we have another one downstairs. Took some extra strength Motrin. Hope it kicks in soon. Really soon. I can't wait to see how this one bruises up.

Long distance phone calls are nice. I like them.

Last night I had a strange one. From someone Rob and I had worked in youth ministry with years ago, but had to ask to step down. Who was now calling me for advice on some things. That's 2 things in one day where someone else thinks I'm wise! ;)

Anyhow, it got me to thinking how much I have changed in the last 7 years or so. How much my views on life and on God and faith have changed. And all for the better I think. Despite my bad days, I think I like myself better now. I think I'm really becoming who I'm supposed to be.

My online friend Rebecca is blogging now. She really has some wonderful, but hard to read, things to say on discipline. I like her blog's look (wonder why, hee hee)

I uploaded a cute video of Norah dancing on my kids blog.

Nighttime reflections

There is something so wonderful about bedtime. The kids and ours. I love being up last, after everyone has gone to bed. I get to shut down the house for the night. I turn off the main lights, turn on the hall light and check on the kids. I go into Isaac's room and tuck him in. He's looking so much like a little boy now, he's lost all that baby look. Has it really almost been 4 years since he arrived and changed our lives so much? I usually end up turning him around in bed so he's not hanging half off the bed. A quick kiss on the head and stroke of his hair and I'm out the door.

Into Norah's room, where I check the temperature on the space heater - she sleeps so much better in a warmer room. I almost always have to cover her up, and pull her doll out from under her. Soon she will be sleeping in the bed instead of the crib. Has she really gotten that big? Norah has such a sweet little snuffly snore when she's lying on her back. She's a light sleeper, and it's so hard not to play with the curls that fan out on the mattress. I just love her curly hair and it's such a wonder to me as mine is anything but curly.

Then after a tooth brushing and face washing, I'm turning out the hall light and heading to our room. I love climbing into bed at the end of the day. Ruby is usually flaked out on my side of the bed, and between her and Rob I can usually find some room. It's so cute to see both of them sleeping - they look so alike that way. Well, except for the beard. ;)

The end of the day brings peace to what are often long and crazy days. Rob and I get chance to check in on our day's highlights and have a couple of laughs before we sleep. I love getting to tuck our children in before sleeping. I can see them at their most peaceful, their little faces flushed with sleep and cozy blankets, hair all over the place. It brings such joy to me to have these moments at the end of the day. No matter how busy or wild the day was, bedtime is a reminder that tomorrow is fresh and ready to take on. That we have spent a day living, laughing and loving together.

ug

incident with a parishoner at church tonight during our St. Patricks' Stew Supper. I'm steaming. And I don't quite know how to handle it.

I hope I can sleep well tonight. This sort of thing makes me toss and turn.

My sister Kendra and her new dog, Acadia.


Is it just me, or is that dog wearing a dress?

Edit - According to my sis, the dress is part of the obedience classes they are in... She assures me she is no Paris Hilton. The dog has a sweater, but for temperature reasons only. :)

I have some days where I feel so strong and capable. Nothing throws me off, and I am able to handle anything life throws at me - even if it's big. I like those days.

I don't always have those days. Like yesterday.

However, it's amazing what an unexpected package in the mail can do for one's spirits.

(thanks to Corie and Kathy)

sick, sick, sick

This story about a child's death totally disturbed me. Sick. Following Michael Pearl's *wisdom* for raising children - and a death results. To be honest, with the garbage that man preaches, I'm shocked there aren't more reported deaths. It's pure poison. I cannot in any way imagine Jesus hitting a child, much less with a plumbing supply line or a hot glue gun stick. What happens when those *tools* don't have the desired effect...do you spank/hit with something bigger? It's just sick and wrong. NOWHERE in the bible does it spell out a *how to* on spanking...so why do so many *experts* claim to have the right way that God would have us raise our children? Oh the thoughts I have on that....

why won't Norah nap? Seriously. That's 2 days in a row. Seriously.

Just ordered a new car seat from Sears. I hope it's what we need. I'm not sure if it's going to be for Isaac or Norah yet. We will see where it fits better in the van. I really hope it's a good fit for what we need, because it wasn't too pricey (even on sale right now).

It's snowing. Again.

that was a scare

Rob was supposed to go to an ordination service today. It was about a 90 minute drive from here (in other words, really close by). It's been snowing for over 24 hours straight and it looked icky out. In fact, my mom, who is supposed to be driving here now, is in Red Deer waiting for the roads to clear up. In any case, Rob leaves at 11:45. Service is at 1:30. Lots of time. I call him at 1:15 when I haven't heard from him. He's cutting out, but I can make out "I'm coming home, roads bad". Great I think...but how far did he get if he's turning around?

I wait not so paitently. Getting worried as I'm checking the weather network and the road conditions. Finally, he walks in the door at 3. He's cold. He THEN breaks the news to me that his drive was somewhat eventful. He spent a half hour in a ditch. He hit a big ice patch, managed to lose control of the car, and ended up in a ditch about 20 minutes south of Loon Lake. Wasn't even speeding. Was very grateful that I insist on a couple's CAA membership and called for a tow truck. He waited, stuck in the snow until 'Taylor from the Baptist church' tows him out. Car didn't handle so well on the way home, with all the snow under it.

I'm so thankful it wasn't worse. It really could have been. Much worse. Especially since only 4 people drove past him in a half hour. I'm thankful for cell phones, for problems happening early in the trip, for soft snow, for safety. Thankful he's ok.

Silly boy though. Took off his winter boots before leaving and had to be in the car with only his dress shoes. Cold toes.

Why I am a SAHM

A few people I know right now are debating the return to work or stay at home question. It got me to thinking about the reasons why I decided to stay home.

I had always considered being a SAHM. It was something that Rob and I had discussed way before kids. Yet I wasn't totally sure that it was the choice I wanted to make. I had either been working or in school since I was 15 and was used to working. It was hard to imagine my life without a paycheque, without being able to put a dollar value on my time. Not contributing financially to the household.

Then I discovered I was expecting Isaac. I had just graduated from college with my PR diploma. I finally had earning potential beyond my retail management background. But I wasn't sure that I wanted to go that route.

I fell into a great job that touched on lots of my skills, but was still not super demanding, and they loved me. As in, constant ego boosting comments and recognition...then again, I was replacing a woman who by all accounts was totally incompetent. Apparently doing something right and without complaining went a long way. Every day, I felt appreciated and valued - and I had a lot of fun with some of the women in the office. My supervisor was almost family, really, almost family - she was married to my cousin's husband...which is how I ended up there in the first place.

It was also in that job that I started to really think about my options after childbirth.

Most of the women in my office were working moms. Some of them had kids in high school and beyond, but most had kids under age 10. And that's where things got interesting. I got to talk to lots of them about their choices - my desk was a common hangout. I asked them questions, they offered me their thoughts and opinions. They revealed a lot more than they told me with their words.

There was C. Who told me lots about her girls, but who had lots of fights with her DH on the phone as to who's turn it was to leave work early to pick up a sick 4 year old. A, a single mom, who had no family support and juggled a preteen who didn't believe she needed daycare anymore. J, who was in the middle of a divorce, and fought back tears as she told me about how amazing it was to give birth to her sons, how spiritual that moment was, and how much she hated to leave them to return to work. But that her ex-DH insisted she work, and that was one of the big factors in their divorce. J, who wanted so much to move up the corporate ladder. She cried every time she talked about her not quite 2 year old DD, but told me how she had to harden her heart when her DD wanted her home because she needed to become a manager. She also fought her DH over who "got stuck home" with that DD when she was sick. P, who had a daughter my age, who encouraged me to be home "when the babies are tiny, that's sacred time you never get back".

But the clincher was T. Her dd (age 4 at the time) has the same name as me. T would have to travel often, and work long hours. To be fair, she did work varied hours in order to be able to help out at her dd's preschool, but she was away from home quite a bit. Her dd started telling T that she wished she could be Kristin S (me) when she grew up, so she could spend lots of time with her mom. Cute story, but it really got me thinking. *I* was spending more time in the week with T than her dd was. Especially when you factored in how much time they spent running around on the weekends, fitting in activities, errands and get-togethers. They almost never spent time together, alone as a family. T was also one of the many moms who told me that they 'had to work, they needed it, to be away and keeping busy".

I realised then that I wanted more for my kids. I'm not saying that I think any of those moms weren't good mothers, not at all. But it sure is hard to fit everything in around a work schedule. I wasn' t having this baby to have somebody else raise them, to spend the hours they were awake with someone who didn't love them like I did. It wasn't about what I wanted, it was about what was best for my baby. To be cared for by a parent who loves them. I thought back to my childhood and how, sure I liked spending time at the babysitters (my mom worked part time) but I sure prefered being home with my mom or dad. Why should my child not get my best hours of the day?

I knew then that my decision was made. Not easy, for sure. Hard to give up the paycheque, the feeling of contributing to the family. The great feeling of a job well done, and being thanked for my effort. Then Rob said "but you will be contributing. You will be raising our child". He was right. I didn't want to be juggling daycare and work. Bargaining with Rob as to who was more able to take a day to be home with a sick child. Fixing dinner in a rush after a busy day. Trying to squeeze errands into a Saturday, or maybe Sunday afternoon after church. Hearing about my child's milestones from a daycare provider. Paying somebody to spend their days with my precious, wanted, and planned for child. I knew that my heart was at home.

another funeral. Rob is meeting with the family right now. I think its on Monday. Monday funreals are hard on Rob - Tuesday is easier, more time to prepare. Monday makes for a go-go-go weekend. In the year that Rob's been working here, he has done more funerals that his predecessor did in 5 years! I guess his 4 months of interning at St. Philips, with all the funerals there, was worth it - even with how much *I* hated it there.

Yesterday was women's day

And I didn't do anything to mark it. I heard a lot on the radio about Canada-wide rallies over the scrapped national child care plan. The Conservatives threw the plan out that the Liberals had signed with provinces before the election. People are upset. And I don't blame them.

As a stay at home parent, who is fully committed to having a stay at home parent, I really love the idea of getting a potential extra $100 per month per child under 6. But it's really just a supplement to the child tax credit. Word is that lower income families won't get the full $100 per month either. As a family who is technically considered low income, I really appreciate our child tax credit every month - now with 3 kids, it covers my van payment and insurance on both vehicles. It helps our financial picture immensely. More would be nice.

However, extra money in my pocket doesn't do much besides help me buy more stuff. I don't need childcare. But lots of people do. For whatever reason they need it, they need it. Quality, well priced child care is needed. I could be of the opinion that since I don't need child care, there is nothing wrong with for-profit, pricey child care. But I'm looking at the big picture. For me it's not just about lower priced childcare, it's availability of that child care. There simply aren't enough spaces for people to put their children into childcare - especially in more rural areas. $100 a month does nothing for you if you don't have anywhere to have your child cared for!

Much as I believe in staying at home, and know it's best for our family, I know that not everyone is in that place. Single parents usually need to work, there are lots of reasons why people feel that both parents need to work and bring in income. For me, it's not a SAHM vs. working mom thing - it's about quality childcare at afforadable prices, with available spaces for those who need childcare, whatever their reasons. Sure, I love the idea of having more money in my pockets, but in the bigger picture, is that the best option?

I don't know. We made the decision for me to be home, that we would raise our children ourselves and not pay some *expert* to do it. Not everyone has made that decision, or is able to make that choice because of circumstances. I would rather that the children of those parents, either through circumstances or personal choice, have quality childcare.

Tim Hortons in the news...

2 stories on Timmy's today. There's the roll up the rim scandal and then the newest location
Strange stuff...

So it's not a sex toy...

Monika ordered something for me online. Claiming it will "spice up" things in our town. I got worried for a second...but she assures me it's not a sex toy. (giggle, snort, cough). 4 to 6 weeks to wait though...I'm SO bad at waiting. So bad. drumming fingers on countertop

I love online shopping...almost as much as in person shopping. I was really excited to get a package in the mail yesterday. A plug for Please Mum clothing here. I bought the girls matching dresses and a shirt for Isaac, all on clearance. Got the cheapest shipping - $4 for the whole thing. Was supposed to take 7 - 10 days. Got here in 3 business days. Woo hoo! And it's cute too. Still waiting on my fancy smelling wool wash products....brown sugar and blackberry/vanilla. Yummmy.

upcoming excitement

So much to look forward to! My mom will be here soon for a brief visit before she moves into her new place. Mary and Garth are talking about coming in May. Jinx, Valerie and Katie may come in May or June too. We're planning a getaway with Corie, Scott and Tyler, and Kathy, Greg and their boys (who I can't wait to meet in person!) We just got an invite to Skye and Chris' wedding...but won't be able to go. Into Vancouver for Sean and Leslie's wedding in the summer, and hopefully a chance to meet up with Sarah and watch Paisley and Norah play. Lots of things coming up to get excited about. Babies to meet, marriages to begin, people to catch up with... people to meet *in real life* too. I'm so glad there are so many events on the horizon.

d'oh!

Want to feel stupid? Forget to renew your husband's car insurance. The Camry is still covered, but need to renew the policy. Oh, and it's in my name, so I get to drive Isaac to preschool tomorrow and go make sure it's taken care of. I really had better remember to do this when the van insurance comes up again in July.

I blame the insurance company. If they didn't send the letters out reminding you so early, you may actually remember to do it! ;)

that was fun! x-post from kids blog

Bit of excitement here today. After church, the kids and I went to the movies! Curious George was playing at our local theatre, with a 1pm matinee. Went with C and her 6 year old daughter L (wouldn't have done it alone!) It was really great, actually. Isaac had a kids pack of popcorn and pop and was thrilled to sit and eat it all - except for the part he dropped on the floor. Norah was so excited by the big screen and music and jumped up and down in her seat for the first 15 minutes straight. Ruby snuggled, nursed and slept. Only a couple of rough moments. When Norah's seat kind of collapsed on her - you probably know what I mean by that - and she got stuck, and Ruby was nursing so it was hard to get her out. Isaac losing popcorn, and Norah finding it. Norah's sippy cup rolling under 2 rows of seats in front of us. Ruby crying for about 3 minutes. Other than that, it was great. Lots of fun. The movie was good too. Norah especially loved dancing to the music during the credits.

and it came to me then, that every plan, is a tiny prayer to Father Time....

stuck in my head, that album is. Every song. Reflections on life, aging, changing and death. And it dances around in there.

Check this out and fill it in for me...

one advantage to living in the country

Fresh farm eggs...lovely for baking with.

Lest you work out anything in advance

Arrggghhh. Here's the issue - 3 kids need carseats. But my original gameplan isn't going to work.

Ruby is in the Evenflo infant seat (which I hate, and should have returned when we bought it for Norah last year, because I'm not 100% happy with how it fits in the car)
Norah and Isaac are both in Britax Marathons.

Isaac was going to go into the Graco turbo booster when Ruby outgrew the Evenflo, and Ruby into the Marathon. Simple, right? Well, Ruby is growing so quick, that she's almost at the end of the weight limit for the Evenflo. It's good to 22 pounds (which is why we picked it, but I still don't like it) She's at 19 and change. She's getting heavy to carry in the bucket. I don't really like bucket seats, but they are so handy until the baby can sit up on their own. So, I could move her into the Marathon rear-facing.

Here's where it gets tricky....Isaac is technically too light for the turbo booster. We have it already, it's in Rob's car. We got a great deal on it, which was nice after the spendy Marathons. But it's for 40 pounds plus. Isaac has topped out at 36 - 37. The turbo boosters in the States are for 30 pounds plus. But Canada's regulations state harnessed seat until 40 pounds. So he's too light. He does use it occasionally when Rob will drive him to preschool in the Camry.

So I don't want to buy a new carseat. I don't want to buy a transitional seat that will, in essence, only be used for a couple of months. The Marathons are good to 48 pounds forward facing, so the girls can stay in them for years. I don't want a car seat that can be used as a booster, because they aren't rated as well as a booster on it's own. If Isaac was big enough for the turbo booster, I could get away without buying a booster until Norah is 48 pounds...and that would take at least 2 years. I like kids in 5 pt harnesses instead of belt-positioning boosters for safety and all, but I want Isaac in that booster already.

So, should I just start stuffing him with ice cream until he hits 40 pounds? Or should I consider him 40 pounds when fully dressed? Rob has pretty much said that he has no desire to spend $140 before tax on a seat that we really won't use more than a couple of months at best. Isaac does seem to be in another growth stage (as seen by his pants all of a sudden being too short). I'm just frustrated....and I want my kids to be safe.