I've got a whole pile of Christmas thoughts milling about in my head. Have been trying to sort through them. Have put off blogging about them.

Got outside today, it warmed up to -15C (3F) without a wind chill for the first time in a week!

my sweet munchkins

It's a picture of a picture, so the quality isn't perfect....but aren't they just adorable?

the height (or depths) of laziness

we drove the kids to the pool for swimming lessons today. In our defense, it had to be done. Despite it taking longer than walking, we had to do it. It was -25C with a wind chill of -36. No WAY were we walking the 1.5 blocks in that. Uh-huh. I was so grateful for my remote starting van.

Winter has slammed into us here. I can tell when Rob opens the door to the garage downstairs. Not because of the sound the door makes, but by the cold air that rushes up the stairs and dances around my feet. I hate our front door being open, for even a fraction of a second, because it lets in cold air. We are running space heaters in Isaac and Norah's rooms to keep them warmer at night. Our room is plenty warm, in the big bed, but the kids rooms are chilly. The sun sets too early and is rising too late. There is something odd about waking up at 8 am and thinking it's only 5.

With Christmas coming, all I can think about for gifts for the adults in our home are warm things - like more long underwear, slippers, jackets and toques. The kids get toys, but we get sexy woolens!

Now really, I don't mind winter. Overall, it's not the worst thing that could happen to us. Our house is warm enough, we have slippers (when I can convince the kids to actually not go barefoot!) and sweaters, I can always make coffee (*grin*). It just makes me realise just how house bound we can be from time to time.

Also makes me miss friends who can come over and play. Anyone feel like a board game and some yummy (from the oven, of course!) snacks?

Baby shower

Despite being as sick as I am, I managed to make a short appearance at the baby shower for Isabell. I managed to actually make a gift for it - a diaper cake! Lots of fun to do.


Oh, and it's snowing again....up to 6 inches today. I'm glad Rob got milk yesterday and we don't have to go anywhere.

well, lucky us

Guess who lives in the town that is currently the cold spot in the province? Yep. Lucky us.

Then again, we could still be in Vancouver, boiling our water day after day. Yikes. I'll take the cold thanks.

blah

I'm under the weather. My head hurts, I'm sensitive to light and noise, and I've pretty much lost my voice. If I try to talk too much, I wheeze and cough. It's yucky. My kids are watching tv right now, and have been for too long. I'm just too tired to do anything else with them. Which is a bummer, it's just above freezing right now and sunny out. I just want to go to bed, or lie on the couch and whine.

J (my new friend) called today to try to get together, but I just can't handle going out. I hate being sick. But she called (she likes me, she likes me!). I hope I feel better tomorrow, so I can go to M's baby shower for Isabell.

cross post from GCM

This week has been very busy, both girls have a tummy bug or something. I had this great ah-ha moment on Wednesday night that I wanted to share here though. My oldest is in ice skating lessons on Wednesday evenings. He was excited, but really unsure on the ice. A lot of "help me, help, help" and wanting to be held up and assisted on the ice. I was frustrated holding him up, I just wanted him to skate already. I didn't want to hold him up, he was making *me* wobbly on the ice. I just would tell him to stand up, you can do it. "help help, I can't". He had 2 big falls one night 3 weeks ago, where he actually was bleeding from his nose and mouth (bit his lip). I was so worried that skating was not going to work out, that we had wasted our money, that he was never going to skate. And then last night happened. I was tired, he was tired. I was sure we were going to have a bad night. I was wrong. He stepped out on the ice and WENT. Just started doing everything right. He wasn't fully skating, but he was 'marching', like the coaches told them to. He was stopping and turning, he was hokey pokey-ing, he was stretching and even jumping a bit. He was standing up after falling down. Without me. He wanted me there, but just to be there, not to help him. He was doing it. Even the coaches were saying "what happened with him? where did this confidence come from?" And then it hit me. I know where that confidence came from. I've seen it before. When my oldest was little, he needed my help, he needed me...all the time. I carried him around, nursed him on cue, coslept...I was there when he needed me to be. I had people tell me that he would never get out of my bed, never wean, never sleep through the night, never walk on his own. And one day, he did do all those things. On his timeframe. When he was ready. Just like the skating. When he was ready to step out on the ice without me, he did. He needed to know that I was there to literally pick him up when he couldn't. Which I did - until he was ready to do it by himself. When he didn't need me to do it. Later that night, DH and I were talking about it. About how much that experience reminded us of how he transformed from clingy and needy little baby to independant and confident toddler and preschooler. How meeting his needs then may have been hard, but worth the payoff. Just like meeting his needs on the ice was hard - ever sat on ice in jeans while holding a crying child? There are many ways that is no fun. Yet, last night, I got to watch him take off over the ice, on his own, confident and capable. I was proud of him and for him.

more random thoughts

-I'm cold. taking the kids out in the snow (pics on their blog) didn't help. I just can't get warm today

-I hate teaching Sunday school. It's NOT my gift. Or at least, it doesn't feel like my gift when I'm strugging with my own kids while trying to teach. blah.

-I have no motivation to do a meal plan right now. And it's showing as I hit 5 pm and think, hmmm, what should we eat. The old McGyver school of cooking (just some chewing gum and duct tape...)

-I'm drinking way too much coffee these days. But that isn't always a bad thing.

note this day

Today, something strange happened. It was around 1:30 pm. Both girls were napping, Rob and Isaac were still not home. It was just me. There was nothing to do! The kitchen was clean, even the floor mopped within 24 hours. The laundry was as caught up as it could be, with a load in each of the washer and dryer. The recently dried laundry was folded AND put away. The rooms were all tidy. The bathrooms were clean. There was nothing to do.

Short of taking on a 'project', I had nothing to do. It was lovely. For the whole hour it lasted, until Rob and Isaac got home.

a summary of the last few days

fresh snow, cold temps
Rob in the city, gone overnight, work related, took Isaac, staying at my mom's
big snow in city, they are staying an extra night
girls and I having fun
I lost the garage door opener, and Norah's mittens today
I may have a playdate tomorrow. that's a whole other post
note to self - don't leave potatoes in van in sub zero temperatures, and if you do, don't bring them into the house to thaw. Just don't.

New look

So, what do you think?

www.rebwebdesign.com

Thanks Rebecca! You rock!!

blah

It's cold and snowy today. I'm so draggy and blah. Couldn't get to aquafit this am, since Ruby wasn't being cooperative. I don't feel like playing with the kids.

I blame the halloween candy.

I have a one year old!

It is beyond shocking to me that Ruby is already a year old (as of Wednesday, for those out of the loop). This year has been really odd, some of the longest days of my life, yet the shortest year I have ever lived. Strange. Yet, she has reached the year milestone, and is growing up despite my wishes to keep her as the tiny baby I held in my arms a year ago.

There are some very crystal clear moments that I can recall from her birth and early days. The not-so-good c-section, the c-section that made me sense my own mortality. Kicking nurses out of my room, so I could have the rest they said I should be getting. The way she cried so much that first night. How loopy my post-op drugged conversation was. The strange paradox of joy over my new baby and grief for my Grandmother's death the day before. Holding her tiny, warm body, next to mine and just breathing the scent of her. The top of her head still smells a bit like that to me, even now. The softness of her cheeks and tiny toes.

Now she speeds about the house on hands and knees. Climbs everything she can while letting out squeals of joy at reaching each peak. Screeches at her siblings if they happen to cross her. She has figured out how to bait her sister, and gleefully teases her. The excitement she expresses when we open the front door or basement gate - as though she longs for adventure outside the confines of our small home. I have a sense that she will break my heart in ways I've never been prepared for. I sense adventure and boldness in her, a longing for new and exciting things, for venturing beyond. Despite her young age, there is such stregnth and determination in her.

"Where has this thing you call cake and whipped cream been all my life? I must have more!"











I wish I could see the future to know what is in store for her, for us. Instead, I prepare myself for bed, to snuggle up to my (still co-sleeping) cuddly little one. The baby that loves to cuddle close, despite her longing for new and exciting things.

She will still be my tiny baby for some time. I cherish the moments, all of them. As her name says, she is a precious thing.

Adult trick or treat!

woo hoo! I got the ultimate trick or treat yesterday. My mom and my FIL came up to stay for 2 days, FIL was in the city and they are up for Ruby's birthday. After a few hints at her lack of skill with a certain toy, mom brought it up for me to keep. Her espresso machine! Now I can make lattes again at will. How fun for Rob and I. I *so* miss my broken espresso machine in the basement, so this is SUCH a treat. Now to figure out where to store it....