home

home. safe. tired. downloading over 100 pics. lots to unpack. wish house was somewhere near as tidy as SILs. back later.

from the vacation

checking in. have been super busy, especially if you count having wonderful chats with my SIL and BIL as busy. :) We're all alive, doing great. Kids were amazing on the trip here, just amazing. We drove through Jasper park as the sun rose over the mountains. Stunning. Did it in the 2 days Rob was aiming for. Wedding was wonderful, baptism was great, bbq party at inlaws was bittersweet. Got to cuddle with friend's kids I hadn't met yet, and see kids I hadn't seen in almost 2 years. Vancouver no longer really feels like home. There is just so much I want to say, but can't squeeze in right now. Some of my linked-to blogs have some photos up already. I'm just here for a moment, need to run soon. I'll catch it all up soon.

heading out

well, we go in the morning. not sure when I'll be back up and running here.

Isaac didn't break his arm after all, which is good. He had a fall in the backyard, and was favoring his left arm severely. But a Saturday night trip to the hospital is never fun when we are getting ready to go on a trip.

Van is packed. Coffee is ready for the morning. We're going. See you later!

grr, when things don't go right

ordered a package of stuff that was going to be a great helper on the road trip. it didn't arrive. went to the post office to see about re-routing the package. would cost $30. Denice at the post office, who is my new hero, suggested I call the company and have them resend it to BC, and she would have the p.o. refuse the shipment. woo hoo! that worked. so, it's being sent to my inlaws.

then, ran out to the Co-op for some 'last minute food'. They were SO busy, long weekend friday and all. Got home, and tripped up our front stairs and pretty much tore off the big toenail on my left foot. There is a lot of blood. It's icky. Looks like that will influence my shoe choice on our trip.

I like my new haircut, which is good, but picked up a box of dye to cover the grey that was popping though. didn't go with my usual colour. it's a touch more orange than I was hoping for. I'll give it a couple of days to see what I think for sure. I did get a compliment on it today though.

Came within inches (seriously!) of a major car accident yesterday. Some (looked drunk, really he did) moron tried to turn right into me. As though my BIG WHITE VAN was invisible. grrr.

Baked up a loaf of banana bran bread for breakfast on Sunday. Came home from an errand yesterday afternoon to find Rob and the kids ate half of it. now, to be fair, I didn't tell them what it was for, but still.

Oh, and I'm trying really hard to clean my house before we go...but the little cyclones I call my beloved children keep thwarting my efforts. Maybe if I keep them out of a cleaned room...then I guess they will be sleeping on the stair landing tomorrow night! Need a visual giggle to keep from banging my head into a wall.

Does this mean my trip will go well? I sure hope so!

more plans, but these aren't trip related

I've got this plan. Rob doesn't get it, but I think it would be great. I want to work with our garage and make it not only clean and organized, but turn it into a play space for the kids. Because the garage isn't insulated or heated, we couldn't use it like an indoor space, but it would be a good spot for wind/rain/snow/mud/sun free play. I was thinking of just putting up some boards along the walls, then building in some basic cupboards on one wall. The cupboards could contain all our garage junk, lawnmower, out of season tires, bbq in winter, random stuff, recycling. Nothing fancy at all, but it would give the kids a nice spot to get out some big energy. Our playroom in the basement just isn't that large, and it's feeling a touch small with all 3 of them now playing there. It would be nice to be able to put the little tykes basketball net out there, and not have to worry about hitting Ruby on the head while we try to shoot baskets. It would be so nice to have more playspace. I'm trying to convince Rob, so I added in that it would be a perfect size for a ping pong table in a couple of years :) Wonder what that would cost.

Our kitchen is making me mental again. I think we need new appliances. Our fridge is sounding sad, old and whiney. Our stove is tempermental. The big burner works when it feels like it, which means it will often conk out mid-cooking job. nice and frustrating. Can't replace it though, because we don't want to buy appliances and have to move them in a few years or 'donate' them to the church. Also, the church is talking about kitchen renos...but who knows what that will look like, or when it will happen. Or if when it does happen, if I'll get any input into it. Ah, the joys of rectory life

plans, plans

Things are coming together for our trip out west (I keep starting to type home, but it's not really home anymore). We decided today to take the northern route there, as in Jasper. I managed to find a hotel that wasn't too $$, like the Fairmont Jasper, a slight $590 a night! Rob is still determined to do it in two days, and I was right there with him...until I realised it's a holiday weekend. The drive from Kamloops to the Lower Mainland, well, could be slow. I remember what the #1 can look like once you hit Hope. Mary, we may be knocking on your door Monday night...are you home? The holiday Monday parking lot is not quite what I had in mind. May be an overnight in Kamloops. Think it will be that bad?

If I can get us organized like I want to be, we'll be hitting the road around 6:30 am on Sunday. We're looking at a 8 hour day in the van, plus stops. Woo hoo.

no wonder I can't see

had my eyes checked today. I have had my current glasses since before I got pregnant with Isaac, so we're talking close to 6 years here. The opt asks me why it's been so long. I tell her it's because I keep getting pregnant and asked her if she would tell my husband to leave me alone. (giggle) Well, it's about time I had them looked at. My eyes have gotten worse. Although, it's not terribly bad, at least now both eyes are pretty much equally bad. I'm hoping I can hit one of the decent eyeglass stores in BC and get a nice new pair. Maybe not plastic frames again though, these ones have held up alright, but the kids have done a number on them. Which is a bummer, I want a funkier pair. I'll probably look into new lenses for my sunglasses too, I SO was not a clip-on girl.

Does anyone remember me getting these glasses? I seem to remember having new glasses back when we lived in Surrey. Could it really be that long ago? Really? Maybe Fall '00. Because we moved out of there January 1, 2001. That's crazy. And I still have no desire to get contacts. I still get all icked out when I remember the time Leslie needed me to put eye drops in her eyes, and when Tanya had to hold me down for drops at camp the year I was pregnant with Isaac. Now I'm really icked out all over again. *shudder*

**Correction** Rob has informed me that the glasses I am currently wearing were purchased after we moved to Vancouver. I know I got them at Oakridge mall, so he must be right. I know when I had them fixed after my car accident they were still under the one year warranty. He must be right. Smart man.

what to do in Vancouver - shop and eat

- Discount Diapers for some new covers
- pair of glasses for me
- shoes for me
- pair of dress shoes for Norah
- Granville Island with the kids, get musical instruments for Sunday School
- Sunday School shopping list at real dollar stores
- IKEA for sheets for Norah's bed, and slipcover for green armchair (hmmm, wonder if I could persuade MIL to make curtains for girls room...maybe Christmas gift...)
- shoes for Rob, without going to Seattle if we're lucky
- I want to go to Meinhardts for some fun food stuff, nice vinegars and such. I miss a good exotic food place. Oh and maybe Capers for some fun healthy/organic treats.

- SUSHI!!!
- Thai House
- Rob wants to go to DeDutch for breakfast
- Earls for kung pow chicken
- Milestones! thai chicken drumettes, or brunch
- Starbucks for coffee A LOT
- if we can make it up to camp, it would be great to top the day off with a trip to Trolls for fish and chips and beer.

I want to get a hair cut with my old hairdresser. My original plan was to get a cut the day of the wedding, so I would look decent. But she's on vacation until the 15th. Bummer. So I might need a haircut this week so I don't look like a mess at the wedding...any more than I will already. Maybe I can get Jackie to take some off the back this week.

I want to learn to make sushi. That's a random aside, but something I want to learn. Maybe a trip to a decent store for some supplies...

things to do

before we head out on vacation I need to

- get my eyes checked, so I can buy glasses in Vancouver
- go to Curves, and get my travel pass, so I can work out there
- figure out what shoes I am wearing to the wedding and church
- get this wedding gift figured out
- pack
- clean the house
- finish the baby thank you cards (!! I am so slow)
- get A and S-J's birthday gifts in the mail

what I don't need to do...but keep working on.

- clean out my closets. they will still be there when we get home
- reorganize my kitchen. once again, still there when we get home
- paint the girl's name wall hangings

Why am I working on the second list and not the first one? Really.

bah!

I really hate this town. I can't seem to speak the language, or I'm missing something. I'm nice, people like me...just not here. I have friends in other places in the world...just not here. I had 2, that is *2* long distance calls today that were SO wonderful. Just makes me want to shout out my front door "hey you freaks, people actually like me enough to call me! what do you think of that??" and give a big ol' neener neener to them.

Sure beats what I almost did today. Which was to sit down on the sidewalk out front of the Co-op and cry.

from Rebecca's blog

And the King will tell them,
I assure you, when you did it to
one of the least of these my brothers and sisters,
you were doing it to me!
Matthew 25:40

And I'm curious...


How does this look in your home? How do you actively seek ways to serve the least of these?

Rebecca offered this up as a challenge recently. I've been mulling it over for a few days now.

I remember very clearly that first day Isaac was in our lives. I was out of surgery, back in our room at St. Paul's, drugged and very uncomfortable. Heck, I was in pain. I was lying on my bed wondering when this little baby's parents were coming to get him...then through my drugged out fog, remembered that he was mine. That I was responsible for this tiny, red faced, tightly swaddled little boy. The weight of that was huge. Who was *I* to have the job of taking care of this little human, perfect and tiny and not yet messed up by the outside world? What was God thinking?

That night, we put him in the bassinet that the hospital provided. I wasn't sure if I was allowed to hold him in my arms all night (first timer!). I woke up to an awful sound around 3 am. Isaac was gagging on some mucus in his lungs, coughing and sputtering. I jumped out of bed - literally jumped - to get to him. Yes, I had had major surgery less than 24 hours previously. Yes, I was still catheritized and hooked up to an IV. Yes, I was barely able to sit up straight, but I jumped. By the time I got to him and picked him up, I was sobbing. Not only was I scared, but it HURT. I knocked my catheter out of place, pulled a stitch along my incision line. Rob woke up at this point, bewildered and unsure of who to help first, the crying baby or crying wife. In that painful, somewhat scary and very REAL moment, I realized that being a parent was going to hurt. Not always physically, and not always in a bad way, but hurt nonetheless.

I realized that this tiny human was part of me, and that I would do anything for him, even despite my own pain. Then it connected in my brain, how much me looking at and admiring this little boy must be like God and us. Looking at this tiny being and seeing the beauty and perfection in them...yet knowing that it wouldn't stay that way forever, that this little boy whose presence was bringing me such joy would one day break my heart in ways I hadn't even thought of. Yet, that I would give my very life for him. Just because he was mine. Brought the gospel message home in a new way.

That short hospital stay cemented in me why treating my children with respect was important. Not only are they a part of me, they are God's children - even more than they are 'mine'. They belong to Him, and I needed to treat them that way. Not to overprotect and shelter from the world, but to take care of, nurture, love, guide and protect. Sometimes, yes, that means waking up to deal with a teething baby at 4 am when I would rather be in bed. Sometimes it means stepping back and calming myself before freaking out on the child that is happily the garbage on to the floor. Sometimes it means finding some endurance to get through the late afternoon when I am just so tired from the night before that I want everyone to go away so I can be alone. Sometimes it means having that extra minute of snuggles for the child who is feeling a little lonely for mom, or comforting a crying child who doesn't seem to have a 'good reason' to cry. Because it is how I would want to be treated. Because I believe that babies and children have needs that we may not understand, but can do our best to meet. Because I want them to be able to understand grace and selfless love because they have seen it in their lives. Because if I am doing it for the King...I want to do it right.

the screaming...

Ruby can *scream*. Seriously, it's not even human. She does it A LOT. TOO MUCH. It is insane...or I will be. Tonight, she is fighting sleep. I just put her down on the floor and told her to go away for a few minutes. My ears hurt.

It's a good thing she is so cute.

still hot

still sleeping downstairs. Right now it's not TOO bad upstairs. Our town is the hotspot for the province as of 9 am. Isaac is at VBS at the Lutheran church this week, I hope it goes well. We may be exploring the idea of partnering with them for VBS next summer. Rob was mad at me yesterday afternoon...and I just can't imagine why. He was sitting on the back deck, I was in the kitchen. He yelled into the house and asked me to please bring him some water. He never said he wanted it in a cup.... *I* thought it was funny, and the expression on his face was priceless. He got over it, and I brought him a drink after that. Although he was complaining that his underwear was still damp hours later. I am just waiting for my payback.

I'm taking the girls to the grocery store in a couple of minutes, it's air conditioned there. We don't really need groceries, but it's a trip to somewhere cool. Walking Isaac the 2 blocks to VBS this morning was really, really hot. I'm craving some really cool air, we're even using fans downstairs. Hmmm...what to make for supper.

we have hit 40 with the humidex. topped out over 100. it is unbearable. the sun beats down on our little house, heating it up even more than the outside. we are moving downstairs. Rob's office transformed into a little dorm for 2 children, and we are even running fans down there because it is still too warm. We are beyond grateful for a second tv and cable outlet in the basement. This weather is supposed to run until Wednesday. We may never come back up again...there is an old fridge down there, a bathroom, and we can cook in the clothes dryer, right?

I love, love, love living 40 minutes away from some of the most beautiful lakes I have ever seen. I only wish it wasn't quite so hot today. It's in the low 30's (or 90's). On the plus side, we ate all 3 of our meals outside today! Hopefully next summer we can spend a week or 2 at a cabin at one of the lakes....

it is a hot day, Rob is off...the lake calls to us....

I will probably take that last post down in the morning.

more good news

our yard is finally going to be finished...more on the kids blog. I am so tired of the large pile of dirt, the holes from attempts to grow trees, fence that didnt connect on one side, making a huge escape route...and the general ick of our yard.

I think its good news

No, it is good news. Mostly. I had my appointment with the specialist today. She thinks my levels seem to be balancing out and that I seem to be on the road to *normal* again. However, her *normal* and what the current definition of normal is are not quite aligned. Meaning, I am on the high side of normal, or slightly above normal. She said that taking myself off the meds, which were seriously making me mental and unable to function, was a good move. I am going back for yet more bloodwork, but it seems like things are on the way to good. So why is this weight being so stubborn...

I had a nice visit with mom, and it was almost like a vacation to have only Ruby with me. She was a peach on the drive, both ways, sleeping for most of it. Mom took her walking while I was in the docs office. Afterwards, we walked over to the Taste Of Saskatchewan, which opened today. What a fun festival! A whole bunch of restaurants had booths and you could buy tickets and get different foods from them. Mom got some funky mango avacado salad thing, from her next door neighbours place ~ he is the head chef. I got a really nice, if spicy, black bean and lime chipolte chicken wrap. Then we had cheesecake, triple dipped in chocolate, on a stick. Cheesecake on a stick... After that, we walked over to a really lovely toy store and browsed. Mom bought a couple of things for the kids, some colour changing ducks for Norah, and a watch thing for Isaac. She also got some fun birthday ideas. Then home again. Where the kids were great, Rob was tired, but good. He forgot to start dinner in the crock pot though. It is good to be home, with everyone, and thinking I may be on the road to recovery...I hope. So take that Dr. G, I am NOT crazy. It was just the crazy pills you put me on.

it would be worth it, right?

I am thinking that I want to upgrade our long distance plan. For an extra $10 a month, we can get unlimited long distance across North America. A big step up from our cross Canada evenings and weekends plan. Then I won't have to think about making my calls only on Saturday, because evenings just don't always work out, between time zones and bedtimes. AND I could call all 50 states, as well as all the provinces. Sounds good to me...think it would be worth it? Plus, we are now going to be getting some extra $$ each month, thanks to the Conservatives, and I dont want to just get beer and pretzels with that cash. hee hee.

today's random thoughts

- my keyboard is working properly again! Woo hoo!! Full use of letters and punctuation again.

- I have my appointment with the specialist on Tuesday morning. I am trying to not get ahead of myself, worry-wise. I am a little nervous though, I am going to have to go to Saskatoon the night before. I am only taking Ruby with me, the older 2 are staying home with Rob. I have not been that far away from Norah before, yes I was in the hospital 3 nights after Ruby was born, but that was across the street. Really, pretty much across the street, if you have been here, you know I'm not making that up. Yes, they will be in great hands, no worries there, but Norah is going through a bit of a mommy phase. It is only 24 hours or so though, and so much easier than making the kids sit through another drive like the one we did yesterday.

- We had a thunderstorm blow into town tonight. Just as I was bbq'ing dinner. Really strong winds. Blew the bbq out. That was annoying, so I finished dinner off in the oven.

- My husband is amazing. He has us almost 100% caught up on the laundry already. He is so wonderful at getting the laundry downstairs, washed and dried, and back up again. I fold it though, so it's not all him. I have NO issues with folding if he washes. ;)

- It is really hard to wash dead, dried up bugs off of a white minivan.

home from camp

Lately, it feels like all we do is come and go from home! Camp is over, it went well. I updated the kids blog, so if you want pics and stuff, check there. I'm too tired to do a big update here.

I was reminded by many of the older women on staff (cooks, nurse and drama leader to be precise) how fast childhood goes. Our girls were mobbed and loved by many campers, but these older women were really loving and uplifting to *me*. Sharing lovely stories of nursing their little ones, cuddling with their babies, carrying their tiny ones in a snuggly, of kissing tiny toes and singing during bathtime. A lovely reminder to cherish the moments, as they pass too quickly. Just as Rob and I felt that Norah really grew up a lot on us this week, before we know it they will be old enough to be campers at camp, instead of staff kids. Too often, I just want the day to be over and done with, and quiet to return to the house...but every moment with them is such a blessing and a gift. Now I want to go and give them all a cuddle.

camp starts tomorrow afternoon. will be back afterwards.

B, hope all is going well with your move prep

And for the person I said I would be praying for...praying for you *heart* hoping to hear a good update soon.

August 13th at St. C. That is the baptism service for Katie. Rob will be doing both the 8 and the 1o am services that day.

So...what is everyone wearing to Sean and Leslies wedding...I need help picking an outift!

working vacation

As we prepare to head to the coast next month, it would seem that Rob will be working while we are there. His brother and wife are wanting to have our niece baptized...and who better to do it than the family priest! So, not only are we going to be godparents, but Rob will actually be doing the service. It had to get cleared on their priests end, etiquette wise, but all is good. In fact, their priest is on vacation for half of August, so he asked Rob to take both of the a.m. services that Sunday. Which he will get an paid for, which is nice. Although a little strange, he will be doing the services in the church he grew up in.

more random thoughts

*Norah is talking up a storm, but we really need to work on how well she pronounces the word fork

* it would appear that our laptop keyboard is kind of toast. I may never really use the p properly again. I really miss my punctuation marks.

* I forgot to renew my car insurance last month...so glad we do automatic withdrawal, otherwise I would be in serious trouble. As it is, I can still get a ticket for out of date stickers.

* Ruby is starting to talk. Seriously. She says Mamma, and Dadda. For us. She woke up the other night and Rob went to her, she looked at him and started crying Mamma and stretched towards the door.

* I am really done with heat and humidity and no air conditioning. Done.

* After the water boil fiasco, this town is digging itself out of the hole I see it in. They have finally started construction on the toddler park. The park that is practically across the street. The park that will hopefully not be the toddler death trap that most of the other parks in town are. Although, I am not so sure about their idea of spring...

* Why do people feel the need or right to comment on someone elses family status. You know, why would you ever want 3 children, your hands look full you better be done, or you arent thinking about starting a family NOW are you, or when are you going to have another child. Is it your body, your family, your wallet...didnt think so.

* We are going to camp next week, and I am really not looking forward to it. I miss Artaban, at least there I knew what I would be getting into. Here...well, I dont even know what the building we will be staying in is like. Do you know how hard that makes it to pack! Also, I am worried about Norah and bug bites. Although, benadryl will help her sleep.

* TMI warning.
After 2.5 years, it looks like my body is having a visitor return. I forgot how icky cramps were. sigh. It was a nice run though...

Happy Birthday to my hubby!

Today is Robs birthday. Yay!! We let him sleep in a bit, and Isaac and I made him an ice cream cake. Crushed Oreos in vanilla, with oreo topping and gummy worms. The worms were Isaacs idea. We are planning to BBQ again tonight, steak and potatoes with salad and corn. If we get more propane that is. Right now it is almost 3, and it is 37, aka 1oo degrees. Stinking hot. I do not want to do anything but sit with my kids, who are NOT napping, and do nothing. Too hot to go outside, too hot to stay in. I really wish we had central air.

Last night, just as we were going to be, we had a thunderstorm. That was neat. But loud. And bright. And long. At least it cooled down so we could sleep upstairs.

well, that kind of defeated the purpose. It is stinky hot again, with more heat predicted for tomorrow. Rob bought some Corona today, and we threw 4 in the freezer. We had 2 with dinner...just pulled the other 2 out. Beer slurpees anyone...

*for the record, we are not currently affected by the bad forest fires in our area. The affected area is north and east of here. Just in case you were worried or wondering if it was local to us. Although, we can smell smoke some mornings, the big fires are not really close to here*

Mom has central air conditioning. We do not. I did not want to leave today. However, at midnight last night, I remembered that today was the playgroup windup party. At 11. There was no way we would make it, unless we left at 7 am. We woke up at 8. Yet again, another chance to get to know moms in town down the drain. Oh well, I got to meet Candice and her girls in Saskatoon! That was wonderful. Her girls are so lovely, and holding her 8 week old did not even give me a twinge to have another baby. So what if most of my friends live, oh, hours away!

Ok, funny story from Candice and I meeting up. We took the kids to the Fun Factory, an indoor playground, with air conditioning. With our admission yesterday, we got free popcorn bags. Well, we ended up taking pictures of us eating popcorn, so we can use them as our new *popcorn smilies* when we are posting. Although, the pics are on her camera, so I do not know how well they turned out, we were both laughing as we did it. Well, we thought it was funny.

8 months today

My sweet Ruby is 8 months old today. Time goes too fast. Such a big girl...














And here are all 3, for the record, Norah and Isaac chose their own clothing today.

The scale has moved! Just a touch in the downward direction, but still it is finally DOWN. woo hoo for me. I guess Rob and I being sick last week has paid off a bit.

We are heading to Saskatoon tomorrow after church. I am meeting up with an online buddy who is in town with her 2 little girls. I am so excited. Then we get ready for a week at camp and then it is all about getting ready for the Vancouver trip. Lots to plan there, working out who we are going to try to see, what we are going to do...I am really excited about that trip. We get to see Les and Sean get married too. We have also all been invited to the wedding Rob is doing at the end of August, so I have to think about what the kids will need to wear. About what I will need to wear!

more on the bbq

We are addicted to the bbq food this week! Tonight was roasted balsamic veggies and tofu, followed up by nectarines in a balsamic honey glaze with whipped cream. The tofu recieved a mixed reception, the boys were not huge fans. I even took chunks of last nights french bread, tossed it in the marinade, and grilled it too. Norah was all over the nectarines tonight.

Cooler day here, lots of outdoor play for the kids, and a father & son trip to the store for slurpees. Good, very good.

Oh, and Bonnie, I think just about anything is good with rosemary in it!

Recipe and smoke

I slept downstairs last night. So much cooler. Ruby and I had the whole bed to ourselves, Rob decided to go upstairs. Which was a decent idea, as Isaac climbed in with him early in the am. Isaac actually slept in until 93o this morning. There is a lot of smoke in the air today, some new forest fires started north of here. Apparently the thunderstorm passed by north of us, and some lightening strikes started a few fires. I have not really thought about the risk of forest fires and living pretty much IN a forest until this week. Hopefully no fires come that close.

It is cooler today, with a breeze. Yay!

I wanted to share our recipe from last nights supper, it is easy and really good too. Great for hot days.

Get a bunch of tomatoes, the smaller, sweeter ones are best. I usually buy the Campari ones in the plastic clamshell, I especially adore the yellow ones thrown in too. Squish them into a big bowl, and rip them into small pieces. This is a great job for small children, mine had a blast doing this part. Rip up some fresh basil and toss in as well. If you cannot find fresh in your small, dinky town, freeze dried is much better than plain old dried herbs. Drizzle olive oil over that, and throw in some salt to taste. Let the flavours get to know each other for a while. Then throw in some spaghetti noodles, enough to feed your family. Toss, and pour some balsamic vinegar overtop. Serve hot or cold, with some nice bread for soaking up the juices. Soooo good. My kids inhale this dish, and it doesnt get the kitchen too hot. You could add garlic, but it is really nice without it too.

as the temperature hits 39 with the humidity, or 1oo for my American friends, I long for central air conditioning. A couple bottles of Mexican beer chill in our freezer, this is beer weather. Supper is spaghetti, chilled and tossed with fresh tomatoes and basil, a family favourite. Blackberry and blueberry flan with whipped cream for dessert. I am going downstairs in moments to hide from the heat. We are under a thunderstorm watch, with hail, so we moved *my* vehicle to the garage for protection. A storm would be a nice break right now.

I have an appointment to see the specialist on July 18. There is my update. 3 weeks to wait and see. The specialist that my doc sent me to has a 6 to 8 month waiting list, so I will gladly see his associate.

It is a GIRL!

Welcome baby E! Baby girl for my dear friends out east. I think she is adorable, and looks like her mom in the picture you sent. Girl #3....oh boy, dad...you are going to have to be on your guard when the boys start coming around!

it is so hot!!! or, why I do not live in the South

it is beyond hot here. we watched a video with the kids downstairs tonight. it was too hot upstairs. with the humidex, it is 34. tomorrow is supposed to be hotter. our living room holds heat like crazy, afternoon and evening sun. kids played in the pool for ages today. too hot to continue. it is going down to 26 overnight. i may sleep downstairs.

34 equals 93
26 is 79 for my American friends. Wow, somehow it does not sound quite so hot in F. BUT IT IS!

mom crush

Went to Isaac's last day of preschool party today. Brought Ruby along, who was peaceful and placid in the sling. Started chatting to a mom I've never met before - she has the only other little boy who is part-time in Isaac's class. Her son is a year older than Isaac. Anyhow, I have a HUGE mom crush on her! She was funny, down to earth and personable. Things I haven't really run into here. In fact, there seems to be this 'mom-ese' language that is native to this town, and I don't speak it well. For a town that claims to be really friendly, they aren't. So, back to my mom crush. I want to be her friend! We were already having a great giggle over some stuff, and were both equally horrified by the unattended children who showed up at the park. Took all I had not to run after her and give her my number, begging her to be my friend. I just don't know how to make the first move! Preschool is over, and I don't know when I will see her again.

On the bright side, she lives near the park we were at, and I know which house is hers. (don't stalk her, don't stalk her, don't stalk her....)

got mad at the town office

we were on a boil water advisory. The town had letter delivered to each home, informing us of the situation. The letters advised that there would be follow up information available when the advisory was going to be lifted.

Well, come to find out on Wednesday night - WEDNESDAY NIGHT - while Rob is at bible study, that they lifted the advisory on Monday. MONDAY. How did they get the word out? By the tiny little local radio station. A couple of announcements on the local radio station. The one that only plays very old country music. You know, THE ONE I DON'T LISTEN TO. I listen to a combination of CBC radio and kids music. So how were we supposed to know that the advisory was lifted? My amazing psychic powers? Seriously.

So I called the town office and generally let loose on the counsellor who was in charge of this. He took absolutely NO ownership of this at all, made it sound like it was my fault. I'm sorry, I recieved a letter, at my door to let me know...how was I supposed to know that local radio was going to have the exclusive broadcasting rights to the end of the advisory information. The original letter had NO indication that the news was only going to be available on local radio...if they had SAID that, I would have LISTENED to it. Instead, I'm just ticked off. That was 2 whole extra days of boiling water for everything.

This town is just horrible for sharing information. Horrible. Like all the advertising for the Rodeo days, telling people not to park along the parade route. But could you FIND the parade route published anywhere? Not at all. apparently in this town, you *just have to know* these things.

Ug. I almost want to take this up in the local paper.

quick update

home from Saskatoon (more on the trip on the kids blog - link on right). Rob and I were sick for a couple of days, but seem to be better. Missed going to Starbucks, not sure how that happened. Kids have roseola - so we're skipping church today. I'm now just waiting to hear from the specialist.

not quite what I was expecting

Didn't sleep well last night, I seem to be dealing with some sort of illness here, along with the kids. Feverish and tossy-turney, and nauseous today. Ick. Norah has goopy eyes and is still a touch feverish too, and Isaac seems under the weather too. Blah.

Then I had my follow up with Dr. G about my thryoid. Apparently, it's worse. Much worse. My levels have doubled instead of dropping off like they were supposed to. I'm being referred to a specialist in the city. (which I really hope means Saskatoon instead of Regina) Blah, blah, blah, radioiodine therapy, or surgery...all bad. I don't quite know what this means right now, but from what I can tell, my options aren't pretty either way.

random thoughts

- I'm working on a 40 mile goal in the next few weeks. 40 miles on the treadmill. Let's see how that goes. I'm at 2.5 already.

- cleaned our fridge out today - with all the stuff the kids have knocked over in there, it had a smell. hope this fixes it.

- It always blows me away when I see my niece's blog - it's sometimes shocking to me just how much Rob and his brother look alike in pictures. I check out a picture and think "what is Rob doing with that baby?".

- finally, we are having a thunderstorm. After at least 8 days of predicting one, it's here. Nothing major, but still getting thunder

- the doctor's office called today, and I have an appointment tomorrow to follow up on my meds. This could be interesting.

- still boiling water. it's not too bad, but it's annoying.

bang my head against a wall

seriously, that's what I want to do.

I've been eating so well lately. Really well. Yet I've gained weight, and am now at a new highest weight. Stupid thyroid. Stupid, stupid thyroid. I need a higher dose of meds. I'm now going to go downstairs and run on the treadmill. If I don't break the stupid thing with my size! *sob* this is so depressing.

more on today

all in all, a nice day. Kids were mostly great - Isaac isn't doing a great job of listening, but that's workable. We made cookies today for Rob, as his father's day present. Rob already got his ipod for our anniversary, and the father's day component was the adaptor for the car. Chocolate and butterscotch chip. Fun to make with Isaac, although he gave up and left as we were putting them in the oven. Had a lovely phone call with a GCMom today. It was so neat to talk to her, when I knew so much about her already. Hopefully we will be able to meet up in a couple of weeks, if our schedules work out the way we are hoping they will. Had dinner at D and N's place, along with their son S and his wife G. The kids 'fished' in their backyard for ages. It was nice to visit with them, and even better not to have to cook!

I tried to call my dad earlier. He wasn't home, and his cell message picked up right away too. To be honest, I was kind of relieved. Didn't really want to talk to him, not really sure why. Left a message, was the dutiful daughter. Yadda yadda. I'm just a little annoyed with him, and really don't want to play the 'you're such a great dad' junk today.

I'm really missing GCM...pathetic of me. A little bird told me she has become a lurker there, here is her nudge to fully join up if she hasn't already...and to let me know she did it. She knows who she is.... ;)

*that* felt more like mother's day

This morning, Rob overslept somewhat because the kids re-set the alarm clock. Despite us being up until 1, I felt refreshed at 7:10 when he hit the ground running. ?Ruby woke up, but was quickly nursed back down. Then I fell asleep again. Woke up, on my own, at 8:30. Norah and Isaac didn't wake until 8:45, and Ruby stayed down until 9:45. What a treat for me on father's day!

Saturday

It's been so muggy lately. Ick. I don't like humid weather at all. Today is that 'not warm, but not cold' muggy, so I'm not sure if we should have windows open or shut. Our coffee maker has developed some attitude too, so I'm working on figuring that out too. It spilled half our coffee out the back, and I was moving the stove out to clean it up this morning. Found one of Norah's socks back there. Still haven't been given the all clear on our water, so I'm boiling water all day. That doesn't help with the humidity in the house, and makes me feel a bit like I'm attending a birth in the 1800's.

Ruby is rolling and 'army crawling' up and down the hallway right now. She is really getting fast, and is usually dragging herself around after me. She's even cleared the threshold of our kitchen doorways a couple of times. Growing up way too fast.

I feel like all I'm doing is complaining. I don't mean to. My life is mostly good, it's just that it feels like something is always out of sorts around here. From my health, to flooding basements, to appliances not working, and so on, and so on. Really, it's not that bad, just annoying.

today is better

I couldn't be more glad to see the end of yesterday. Seriously. Thanks to those who sent kind words and thoughts. *heart*

Today is much better. Doesn't hurt that it's Rob's day off either. Last night, I hung some extra liner type things in the kid's windows, so they slept a bit longer this morning. That was a bonus. Then after a slow-ish start, we took the kids to our local Children's festival. I was rather impressed with how good it was. That was fun. I managed to leave a row of 10-12 year old girls shocked when they watched me do a quick back toss with Norah in the mei tai. That was hilarious. Our girls were quite the hit today, between random girls coming up to 'see the cute babies' and Norah getting some attention during one of the shows by 2 of the performers, the girls were almost famous! This day has gone so fast though, I can't believe I'm nursing Ruby for our pre-dinner-making nursing session already. We're having homemade pizza, and I'm still not quite sure if I want to do one big one, or a make-your-own. I'm thinking one big one would be less messy, but not quite as fun...

thank you Melanie Doane

This song kind of sums some things up nicely.

HAPPY HOMEMAKER

Maybe I'd be happy to let it all go
Dedicate my life to making jelly molds
Learn to cook and learn to sew
I'm a Happy Homemaker

Why have I been pushing so hard
when I could be out in the backyard
Letting down my hair
letting down my guard
I'm a Happy Homemaker

Barefoot and pregnant
never looked so good
We're all dying to take our shoes off
Never what we want
it's always what we should
Ahhh, I'm a Happy Homemaker

Maybe it'll be different this time �round
We'll put to use the wisdom
I hope we've found
Like to lose the crap
without losing ground
I'm a Happy Homemaker


Barefoot and pregnant
never looked so good
We're all dying to take our shoes off
Gone so far the other way
We're scared to be our mothers
and we're scared of going soft

Barefoot and pregnant
never looked so good
We're all dying to take our shoes off
Never what we want
it's always what we should
Ahhh, I'm a Happy Homemaker

today, their demand outstrips my supply. I need a day off. really, really need it.

I think I need stronger meds

I don't think my meds are strong enough. I've been back for more bloodwork, but no matter what the results say, I KNOW they aren't strong enough. I've been feeling more 'off' lately, and I'm not handling it well.

Today, I had a huge meltdown. Of course, it doesn't help that it feels like I'm on a never-ending ride of stressors. Things keep getting thrown at me, and I feel like such a drama queen over it, but it's just so hard sometimes. I'm not sure if this is just life, or what, but it sure feels like a lot on my plate. All 3 of my kids are draining me like mad right now too. This morning was hard. I finally called Rob upstairs to bail me out because it was either me losing it on my own, or taking it out on them - which I don't want to do.

It's so strange, it's like I'm completely rational in my irrational-ness. It's like I'm seeing myself on the verge of control and out of control, and the one thing that's keeping me from crossing that line is the knowledge that I would have consequences to my actions. Ok, now I sound crazy. But maybe if I really *was* crazy, it would be easier. As it is, I don't think I am, I just feel that I *could* be. hmmm. clear as mud?

Yep, I need stronger meds. Today I took 2 pills instead of one, and I'll see how that goes. Almost all of my previous symptoms are ramping up again, and I don't like it. Yep, here comes the 'almost noon headache' that I used to get pretty much daily.

Look what I saw today

while making lunch. Just looked down, and there she was, out cold. I love my mei tai! Thanks, Corie, it's fabulous! (if a bit challenging to transition her out of, it involved me climbing on the bed to untie it - but still much easier than the backpack!)

Boy, does she ever look like Isaac in this picture.

GCM is down

Here is the info, from Amanda (Punkie). hopefully we can be back up again soon!

what is annoying

- kids who are still leaking green snot. it's been too long :(
- an indefinite boil water advisory in our town - which means that we need to wash dishes by boiled water because our dishwasher doesn't hot enough. This on top of it being hot, and not being able to use our wading pool for the kids because they won't not drink it.
- having dead ceadar trees in our front yard. I pulled 3 up, but still have 3 to go...and nowhere to dump them. This makes our yard really really ugly.
- a son who is tired and cranky. that's frustrating
- a baby who is going through separation anxiety, so I can barely put her down. that is ok, but combined with having 2 other kids to take care of, it gets tiring

that is all annoying. Whine is now over.

I blame Garth and Mary

...and so it begins. We now own an ipod. Officially, it's Rob's anniversary gift from me, as the stand mixer was my gift. I blame them for showing us theirs. :)

home yet again

This has been a tiring week. S'toon with the kids. Children's festival was good, if cold and windy outside. The kids loved the show. Norah got a mosquito bite that went bad AND a bad reaction to some citrus. So I now have another kid on antibiotics. Isaac had a bad bout of constipation, but that passed (so to speak). Ruby now has 2 teeth. Tonight was a bbq at the church for the 75th anniversary. It's 7:30, I'm tired, and 2 kids are sleeping. I want to clean my house and have some wine. But there isn't any in the house. Oh well.

At least we didn't get the Norwalk virus...things could always be worse.

Wednesday

Hot water heater is fixed. Ruby has a double ear infection - how is it that my older 2 have NEVER had an ear infection, and she's on her second one? My mom came up yesterday to bail me out while Rob was gone for the day for meetings at the diocesan office. You know, since I was alone, had no sleep and still hadn't had a shower since Ruby wouldn't let me put her down. We're off to Saskatoon today for the Children's Festival. We'll be home in time for the church's 75th celebrations this weekend. But off to S'toon for a music show, playtime on the festival grounds, possibly a parade (if we stay until Saturday), a little shopping and some Starbucks! If only I can get us packed up quick!

Vote, vote, vote!!!

Go to CBC Hockeyville and vote for my town before midnight June 7th! Help make us Hockeyville Canada.

If you don't know which town is mine, we're the SK town from the North region. Vote for us!!!

I hate Mondays

Specifically, this Monday.

Our hot water heater is broken, and has been for a couple of days. I need a real shower. I don't like heating water on the stove to wash dishes (oh, and if only all 4 burners would work) Can't wash diapers, so we are back to sposies. Ick.

All three kids are still snotty as anything. Fun. I'm wiping noses on the fly, how elegant. ;)

The guy should be coming today to fix the heater. Should.

I messed up paying a bill online. As in, entered in the wrong account number for my HBC credit card. On both bank accounts. Oops. and double oops.

2 phone calls from telemarketers. Asking for "rectory anglican" (badly pronounced too). Nobody by that name here. Each time the phone rang I was changing a diaper and rushed to the phone in case it was the heater guy. Nope.

Ruby had her first real taste of solids last night. We went to the parade for Stampede week. They throw lots of candy. Norah decided to give up her freedom in exchange for a lollipop (back into the stroller). She shared it with Ruby. Roo had a couple of good licks of the lolli before we noticed. D'oh! Her first real solid was a yellow lollipop. Must be our third kid.

Oh, and I'm jealous too. Rob is currently at preschool with Isaac. They are doing a field trip today - to the bakery and the fire hall. I wanted to go! He got to do the bowling party last December, and now the field trip. Oh well, I get to take all the kids to the Children's Festival this week!

perfectionism

I am a perfectionist. And a procrastinator. It's a bad combination. Common combination, but still not a great one. I also know why I am a perfectionist. It's what has been drilled into me from birth by my father.

Let's backtrack a bit. Long story short, my father married my mother under less than honest circumstances. He portrayed himself as something other than what he felt he really was, and decided that having a family would fix everything. Catch was, that family had to be perfect. It had to look good. My mom was not pushy that way, but came from a long line of "stiff upper lip", "don't show your weakness" women. Not a great combination.

Being the compliant child I was, I bought into it easily. Good table manners, please and thank you, "party tricks" that I could pull out at dinner parties...all of that. Then dad figured out I was smart. I was reading by 3.5 (like my son!), was tested, and came up gifted. To keep me from being bored in school, I got put into music lessons. I did really well, despite being terribly shy, group lessons can help with that. Then dad started pushing me.

I was pushed to be the best in school, and I skipped a grade. I was pushed to be the best in music, and I didn't want to be. I was pushed to do everything well. Because, of course, MY doing well made dad look good, right? I can honestly say that I did do really well when I tried to. But I didn't like being pushed. I was shy, remember? I didn't like being "out there" as being "good" at stuff. That didn't fit with being pushed.

As I got older, I started pushing back. I hated piano. Scratch that, I enjoyed playing, I hated practicing. Especially when dad was home. I hated making mistakes. When he was around, he was really good at pointing out my mistakes as I practiced. I was finally able to quit at age 12, but it sure took a lot of fighting. He was also really good at pointing out where I came up short in school. Grade 9 is a big year in Quebec, first year of provincial exams. I was in a 'big academic' high school, had done some gifted programs there, and was aware of the pressure of big exams where you were measured against all the other grade 9 students in the province. Geography was the class. I was a whiz. I went into the final exam with a year to date average of 95%. I completed the exam with a 97%. Top 3% of the whole province. What did dad say? "where is the other 3 percent?" Now, I know he was joking...sort of.

Then we moved to BC. I quickly figured out that the BC curriculum was way different from the QU one. It was easier. So I stopped working. I stopped caring. I stopped going to class. Dad wasn't home much, and it was easy to slack off without him being around much to push me. Besides, my little sister wasn't doing well in school, so it was easy to hide behind her shortcomings. I failed a class for the first time ever. It actually felt good. I coasted through high school, only doing what I had to do get by. I had lots of teachers talk to me about how well I could do, if I tried, if I wrote the papers, if I showed up. But I didn't care. It felt good to know that I could do it without trying. I didn't want to go to University, because dad wanted me to, and I was tired of making him happy.

I was also scared. I didn't know what I wanted to do! I was never the kid who knew from grade 1 that I wanted to be a teacher, or a doctor, or a whatever. I just didn't know, and I wasn't about to make up my mind. I was too scared to mess up something big. High school was nothing, it was easy to get by, do the social thing to the best of my ability. I knew that University was big, and I didn't want to mess something big up. Something expensive. I hated failing. I was a perfectionist on my own, but the pushing from my dad sure didn't help. At all. I was also young, I wasn't ready to move away from home to go to school, and I couldn't deal with living at home - between my dad's expectations, I had a social group that wasn't big on university and I like to be a bit of a party girl.

So I did nothing. Put it off. (procrastination again, I'm really good at that) Heaven forbid I fail at something. I attempted a semester of college, 3 courses, at the insistence of my dad. THAT was a dismal failure. My GPA was...get this... .43. Yes that was a decimal point, with nothing before it. I was having too much fun, well, in life to attend class. I had a boyfriend, a semi-boyfriend, things to do, places to go, people to see...and none of them were in my classes.

Whatever. I moved on, found the Lord, met Rob...all good things. My teenage rebellion stuff was over. I was now doing what I wanted, to a point, not under my dad's pressure. That was good. But I was still dealing with my own pressure. Failing was still painful, hard and scary. I didn't like trying stuff I wasn't going to be good at right away. I didn't like coming up short at all.

I ended up going back to school. I did a 2 year diploma in PR. I was great at it, I was getting fantastic grades, especially in the academic courses. I was thrilled to be succeeding, excelling even. Being encouraged by some of my teachers to step out and do new things, to take the lead on projects. What a huge ego boost...and then coming home to a husband who was thrilled for me. He was supportive of me, regardless of my grades, where I stood in relation to the others in my class. That was wonderful.

Well, then I realized that corporate PR wasn't my thing at that point. I also got pregnant with Isaac. I worked, did great at my job, they wanted me to come back after mat leave ended. I chose to stay home with the little guy.

So now I face some of my issues as a parent. I was pushed to produce perfection. I then pushed myself in some ways. I don't want to pass that on to my kids. I struggle enough with not being able to ask for help when I need it, I *have* to have it together. I don't want my kids to feel that an attempt isn't good enough. That just trying isn't enough to win my affection. I love them no matter what. Their public faces don't elevate me, their accomplishments don't bring me glory, their strengths aren't my doing. I need to remind myself of that. I need to allow my kids to fail, to try their best and have that be ok. To try, to be, to experience. To hit a wrong note, to get dirty, to make mistakes. What I wish I had been able to do.

Now I'm not bitter, but I do wonder what might have been. I don't want to live vicariously through my kids, but I sure hope they don't carry the baggage over being perfect that I did. I don't fully blame my dad for this either, it was just a part of the bigger picture.

So I'm typing this out, while I 'should' be cleaning my kitchen...but it's late, and I felt like being a bit of a psychologist on myself...and the dishes will wait.

Drill queen!

I love my power tools! Yesterday, I mananged to finally put up the shelving we bought for the upstairs bathroom. Drilling, measuring, using the level....and they are level too! I'm thrilled with the result. Yay me.

yesterday's post...

...could now be titled "weeping and gnashing of TOOTH" Ruby now has one tooth, just the start of it, hovering above the gumline. It's partner is not far behind. She is growing up way too fast. *sob*

weeping and gnashing of teeth

at least, there would be, if she HAD teeth.

The kids and I all have head colds. Lots of snot. Ruby, however, is combining this cold with what appears to be teething and separation anxiety. Nice timing.

The first two teeth hover just below the gumline and show promise of peeking through soon. I hope so. She's heavy and it's starting to really wear me out. Cooking meals with a baby on my back is starting to lose its charm.

reflecting on 10

10 years. May 25, 1996 Rob and I were married. It seems like just yesterday, yet a lifetime ago all at once. Looking at our wedding photos, we look like a pair of kids. We were - just 21 and ready to take on the world.

So much has changed for us in that 10 years. Who knew Rob would be in ministry. Oh wait, we kind of did know...but were playing dumb. I have a really clear memory of our first full day together in our apartement after getting home from our honeymoon. Just kind of standing there, thinking...so now what? It was so strange, knowing neither of us was going 'home' at the end of the day. Yet not really feeling fully 'home' together. Combined with having next to no furniture, it did make things feel a little strange.

We were warned that the first year of marriage is hard. It really wasn't. Sure, it had a few bumps, but I wouldn't call it hard. We learned to fight, even though we really don't fight. We disagree, but we don't get all heated in argument. That is because Rob doesn't do well with yelling, and I don't do well with avoiding. We learned that together.

We learned that change can be hard, but is made easier when we work together to move through change. To lean on each other, to talk things out, to laugh about it together. We have had some stressful times, but thy have brought us closer when they could have easily pushed us apart.

He is my best friend, and I can't imagine my life without him. Literally cannot imagine life without him. We have fun together, we challenge each other, build each other up, bring joy to each other.

Recently, we were driving somewhere with the kids, and were reflecting on our marriage. It was the day after our 10th anniversary. I asked Rob about rough patches in our marriage, when he thought they were. He said that he didn't think we had them. I think he's right. We easily could have had hard times, but we didn't let them get beyond us. We turned to each other, and more importantly, to God. He is the foundation upon which we have tried to build our marriage. I pray that the next 10 years are as good, if maybe a bit less change-filled.

I'm beyond thankful for the 10 years of marriage we have had. For the man that I have walked down this path with. I truly believe he is the right man for the job.

ok, where was I?

ahhh yes. On the way to meet up Corie and Kathy and families. Now Corie and I have been friends for over 11 years now, but Kathy was *new* to me. She and C are friends, but I only know her through GCM (and some phone calls). And our hubbies hadn't even talked before, nor had our kids. This could have been a bad thing, given that we were spending 3 days together in one house.

But it wasn't! It was great. K and G are wonderful people, not that I expected anything less. It was wonderful finally getting to meet them, and their boys. Isaac and A hit it off quite well and had lots of fun together. Rob and G chatted lots too. It was good. I was so glad to finally meet C's little guy - last time we had seen each other, she was just moving into maternity clothes and my kids were 4 months and 2.5 years.

We took the kids swimming, which was mixed. My brood had fun in the water, but getting there and out again was rough. It was obvious that they all needed naps. Norah loved the little slide in the kiddie pool though, and was totally crazy on it - up and down, up and down, head under the water and all. Isaac backed out of the bigger waterslide, which I think was a bit of a letdown to Rob ;)

On Friday, we took the kids to the zoo. It was colder than we expected, but we all enjoyed it. Isaac liked the petting zoo part, he was walking around after the chickens saying "say cockadoodle-do!" over and over. Poor chickens. Norah got to see ducks. She was happy. Rob and I didn't go out for dinner as we had originally planned, it was way more fun to catch up with everyone, as now S had joined the group after work. We had some dinner, got all the kids down, and then played a board game and ate chocolate fondue. Nice.

It was such a lovely time, and it was so nice to finally meet K. She is now an IRL friend, not just an online one. Yay! I do wish we lived closer to them all though...but we are going to be passing their way on our route to Vancouver this summer. Maybe we will have to hook up for a meal again!

home again

We got back last night from another trip. This time Rob was with us, and we went to Alberta.

It was great! We left Wednesday after Isaac's preschool. Drove to Edmonton, after a short stop to let the kids play and have lunch on the road. Got to our hotel, after me getting a touch mixed up on the road. I NEVER get lost, but Edmonton did me in 3 times. I mean, I never get lost, ever. This was a new one for me. But it wasn't bad. We took the kids to the hotel pool, and then we went out for a drive, and had dinner. White Spot. nice :) Norah danced on the bench seat while we ate, that was SO funny. She was bouncing all over and shaking her head while she munched on her Pirate pak.

The kids did really well, with such a late meal and getting settled in a strange place. Thursday morning was an early start for me. Norah and Ruby were up with me too. I took Ruby with me and we headed out to the place that was able to get the van adjusted for Rob to drive it. Rob stayed with the other 2 kids at the hotel. It was really raining, like Vancouver winter rain. Ick. I don't miss that at all. The van was done in 2 hours, so I was back to the hotel to pick up Rob and the kids...who hadn't eaten at all. Isaac slept in until 9:30, so Rob had only gotten everyone ready to go when I called and said I was on my way.

Off to Ikea. Ya, I know, didn't want to go...but we had a nice short list. Got some breakfast for the kids and coffee for us (yay Tim's!) We took Isaac to the play zone for kids there, much easier than dragging all 3 of them through the store. We actually ran into someone there! The daughter of a couple from our church was there with her husband. She recognized us when we came in. I hadn't met her before, but she was there at Christmas and Rob did her mom's funeral earlier this year. Too strange!

Ikea went mostly well. Girls were tired, but we made it through our list pretty quick. Had lunch. Then headed out to meet up with Kathy and Corie and their families. Yay! I've been looking forward to that for ages. :)

More later.

Becoming a bread goddess

that's me! I must say that this bread thing is wonderful. Tonight, I whipped up a fantastic rosemary, garlic and sea salt focaccia bread. Yum. Drizzled with olive oil and baked golden brown. Served with spaghetti and meatballs and salad and fruit for dessert. Delicious.

New pics of Norah's haircut on the kids blog. She looks so grown up...

haven't posted much lately, took a last minute trip to Saskatoon with the kids to visit my mom. We left on Thursday, and got home this afternoon (Sunday). Rob had an overnight thing for work Thursday to Friday, and then had to sermon write on Saturday, and with it being a long weekend...I just didn't want to be stuck in the house with nothing to do. So we went to mom's place. The drive down was fine, and coming home was too. Isaac did get his first real outdoor pee today, as he needed to go after we had passed through one of the towns. He did great *grin*. I wasn't really expecting him to go the whole 3 hours home without stopping. I was pretty bummed out though, this month Tim's featured donut is a carrot cake one...and the Tim's off the highway at the halfway point to Saskatoon didn't have them in stock either day. Um, isn't it your featured donut? Oh well, like I really needed it. It just sounded good. Maybe this week when we go to Edmonton...

4 sleeps to Edmonton!

not bad for a Canadian!

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why oh why

do I ever say anything nice about my kids in here? Seriously. Within 5 minutes of hitting 'publish post'...Norah fell and found the only loose nail on our baseboards. HUGE cut across her leg, just below the knee. Deep cut. Ugly. An hour later, and one visit to the clinic, she is bandaged and calm. The doc and I decided against stitches, give the bendy nature of the injury location. So we have some nice sticky bandages. Icky though. I got blood on my clothes too.

I should not say nice things about my kids on here if I intend to keep them safe. *shakes head*

Lots of things have been going on in the last little while. Garth and Mary arrived on Thursday evening. So there was quite a bit of prep before they arrived, you know, the tidy up, clean the downstairs bathroom, catch up on the laundry thing. We had a great visit (as least *I* say so - hopefully they agree!). Lots of conversation, lots of laughs, a really really silly night of board game play. Really silly. *grin* I almost peed my pants at one point I was laughing so hard.

We got to show them our town - that was a quick tour ;) They got to see our churches, and hopefully weren't too overwhelmed by our kids - who were their adorable selves. It is always so great to have visits. It's hard to say goodbye though, knowing it will be some time before we see each other again. And goodbyes also bring the reminder that we haven't made friends like them yet in this town. Good friends, who you know you can have the deep and shallow talks with, the ones who know your history and still want to spend time with you.

Today has been a good day too. Took the kids to playgroup and it went really well. Isaac and Norah must be moving into easy stages, because I'm feeling way less like everything is a fight with them. It's like they are all of a sudden out of disequilibrium and are all balanced again...or maybe it's me. But playgroup has NEVER been as easy as it was today, even before Ruby was born. Even getting home again was easy. I'm discovering that not only do I love my kids, I really LIKE them. They are really interesting and fun little characters.

Hopefully our walk to the grocery store after the girls wake up will be just as good.

the card my son made me

Not bad handwriting for a just turned 4 year old!

how did I manage to miss the lead up...

to mother's day? oops. It really slipped my mind, and I didn't do anything for my mother. I suck.

roll call?

so...who is out there reading anyhow? anyone? Bueller?

Feel free to say hello sometime...

oh, and a new video on the kids blog. They are just too funny and cute, AND I managed to capture it. Usually, they just stop doing whatever they had been doing when the camera comes out.

long distance blessings

I've had a few long disatance calls in the last few days. *heart*

I've also been having a rough little patch in the last while, with my health stuff and the downer that's been for me. Between the weight gain and the other physical side-effects and the mental stuff that comes with being out of balance. Well, let me just say that each person that I have talked to has SO blessed me with their love and caring. Kind words, supportive statements, offers to send things I can't get here - even the mere timing of a phone call...I'm feeling so loved, despite the (many, many) miles of distance. Today, I was even brought to tears by a call, by the support and love. (tearing up again) Thank you all so much, you know who you are. You probably have no idea how much your words have touched me.

This was just too funny not to pass on. Looks like a nice place to worship, don't you think?

Shocking...

We are going to Edmonton soon for a little getaway. (waving at Corie and Kathy - can't wait!) Going to have fun, maybe get our van converted so Rob can drive it too. I also need to pick up some stuff at Ikea. A guard rail for Norah's bed, maybe some more kids dishes, and an umbrella for our outside table.


I DON'T want to go to Ikea. Can you believe that? I don't want to set foot in Ikea? Strange...

Woo hoo! made it to aquafit last night. It was so good to workout and not have stress on my joints - mainly my knees and ankles. I'm feeling pretty good this morning too, so I'm hoping to go again tonight. I really hope that my meds help with this joint pain - I'm seriously looking like an old woman the way I limp around some mornings.

Happy May 3rd

And look what we woke up to this morning. (and yes, I did get up today - at 8 no less)
May 3rd. A couple cms of snow. It's sitting at the freezing mark, with a wind chill. And there is our backyard, all ready for summer....

a reminder that we do live in the North.

Corie - I'm not laughing at your snow the other day anymore :)

I'm so crashed out after this weekend. I just want to stay in bed ALL day tomorrow. I wish Rob didn't have to work. Seriously, I want to be in bed all day. I'll take Ruby with me!

Health update

Alright, I have an update to my ongoing health concerns. I was right on with my self-diagnosis - Hypothyroid. My thyroid levels are way off, my TSH is super high, and my T4 is way low. Which explains pretty much every crazy symptom I've been having lately. From my excessive hair loss, to anxiety, joint pain, worsening of my carpal tunnel, irratibility and fatigue - oh and throw in unexplained weight gain too for fun. Mostly 'normal' post partum stuff, but blood testing confirmed that it's more than that, and not just in my head. So, now I'm on something that hopefully will help. My doc said that the good news about this is that, of all the diseases I could have picked to have, this one is on the easy side to work with.

All I know, is that it's really nice to know that I'm not just making stuff up. That some of what I've been feeling is more than just me being silly. Because that wouldn't be much fun.

he's 4....

Isaac is 4 today. It's been a long day. And a lot of things to reflect on. I'll be back...

A follow up article on the Pearls. Hats off to Chris and Meggan for their honesty and bravery. *heart*

May this article help people to see how damaging and dangerous this 'method' of parenting can be.

What was I thinking?

Open mouth and speak before you think. Preschool pick up on Wednesday "Hey, it's Isaac's birthday on Sunday, I can bring cupcakes on Monday". Sure I can....but that means I have to make them! d'oh!

Cupcakes you say? simple. In theory. If I wasn't already doing the following:

-baking a cake for Sunday
-preparing the house for Isaac's birthday party, in case it rains
-preparing the back yard for Isaac's birthday party, in case it's sunny
-planning the menu for the party - because, it's for supper of course (thanks Rob...)
-taking all 3 kids to another birthday party on Saturday
-doing the groceries and other shopping for Isaac's party
-helping Rob assemble the new patio furniture (a girl loves to use her drill!)
-oh, and you know, taking care of 3 kids and cooking meals for the family too

wait, I also want to get to the trade fair this weekend too. Gotta love a chance to do some shopping. Maybe when the kids are napping tomorrow...because Rob's working all day. At least Rob will be home after church on Sunday and can help with the last minute stuff. Can't get too far ahead with the cleaning...the kids just mess it up again behind me!

And I'm still trying to get thank you notes out for baby gifts...and the baby is almost 6 months old! (how sad am I?) And I'm reading a book that's really making me think, and challenging lots of my thoughts...so I want to get back to reading that every chance I get. And I'm supposed to be scanning in a bunch of stuff for our church's 75th anniversary...

AND I'm supposed to sleep?

ack! forgot I still need to wrap the gift for tomorrow's party!

a touch of pride

There is a quote of mine that pops up from time to time on a website I frequent. I feel a little surge of pride when I see it. As if something I said at some point in my life resonated with someone, somewhere.

It's a nice feeling.

So why don't my kids listen to me more?
*grin*

What's my smarts?

Naturally Smart You're a naturally smart person. Your intelligence comes to you naturally, rather than from instruction - and you are better with applied or more real-world things... which comes in handy, here in the real world. 20% applied intelligence 40% natural intelligence

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

My mothering style?

Another quiz - your mothering style.

Your type is: isfj —The “Tender Loving Care” Mother

“I want my children to feel they have an ally, someone who knows them completely. I want to be a haven for them.”

• Gentle and kind, the ISFJ mother provides her children with generous amounts of tenderness, affection, and the comfort of daily routine. Her aim is to “be there” for her children, physically and emotionally. She is sensitive to their feelings, offering closeness, understanding, and quiet support.
• Loyal and devoted, the ISFJ mother has a strong sense of duty and consistently puts her children’s needs first. She delights in taking care of the little things that matter to a child, making each one feel loved and special.
• To provide her family with security and warmth, the ISFJ mother tends to the practical and domestic, aiming for a smooth-running household and an attractive home. She also observes and conveys the value and importance of family traditions.

the local paper

If you've ever watched "Corner Gas", you may have noticed the gentle ribbing at local newspapers. Ha! Well deserved, I say. Our local paper has picked up the quality lately, ever since the new editor took over. The old one, who wasn't there long, was French-Canadian, and often really mixed up her English phrases (collapsing like a deck of cards was one...um, I think you mean a house of cards because a deck of cards is already collapsed). However, there are a couple of local 'news' bits that seem to be immune from editing...of any sorts.

Take the Local News paragraphs, written by the wife of the late mayor. She often refers to herself as "me" in her column. So if you don't know who "me" is...like I didn't for a few months...you are lost. Anyhow, her column is really just an update on who is where in town. Who has taken trips and who is visiting and such. I just have to include a summary of this weeks "news"

"W and A. M went on a cruise. They went to St. Luke Mazatland and Port of Varta. They then made a circle in the ocean and ended up in Los Angeles. They had a very good time"
(good thing they had a good time, since it sounds like a shock to have ended up in L.A. And I'm assuming she meant they stopped in Cabo San Lucan, Mazatlan and Puerto Vallarta)

"I went to Lloydminster to help my mother celebrate her 90th birthday. A come and go tea was held in her honor." (so...who's your mom? apparently, we all know...and we spell honour with a *U* in Canada)

Those are just a couple of gems. I haven't even READ the whole paper yet....can't wait to add more.

things to think about/pray about

We got the call the other day that we have been anticipating. Camp.

We were approached and asked to direct a week of camp already, but we turned it down. Just wouldn't work for us this year. Or really at all. Not easy to do camp, at this camp, with the kids in a directing position. Artaban was way easier for being able to juggle the kids and the site layout. So, Rob has been asked to be chaplain for a week. We expected that to come, and the camp week may actually be a good fit for our family. Apparently, despite us trying to keep our camp background on the 'down low', word is out! lol Our camp here just gets such icky bugs. Seriously ugly bugs. Need to discuss this more and pray over it. The going to camp part, not so much the bugs part ;)

We've (and I say we, because it was both of us) have been asked to consider another opportunity. I would love to do it, and am really honoured to be asked...but not sure if Rob is on board. It's more in my area of comfort and knowledge than it is his...but it could really be a good thing. So that also will take some discussion and prayer.

Right now, in order to get to church today, I need to run and shower, while Dora is entertaining 2 of the kids.

Happy Sunday!

Earning it's keep

My much wanted, desired and hoped for Kitchen Aid stand mixer is a wonderful thing. It's getting used almost every day. We haven't bought any bread since the mixer came home, I've been making it all myself. I need to get my hands on some more flax seed soon, it's been such a nice addition to the whole wheat bread I've been making. Then there is the ice cream. That's tasty. I want to see if I can get vanilla beans in this town though, I think that would be richer than just vanilla extract. When I make ice cream, we also end up with me having to make merangues afterwards, as we use so many egg yolks for the mix. Lots of yumminess (is that a word? I don't really care, I'm using it anyway!) I can pretty much prep the bread dough in 5 minutes, without looking at the recipe now. Woo hoo for me!

Ruby is going through a mom-only phase. That is a little tough. And being in the sling walking around with me doesn't always cut it. I think we may be at the start of teething, as I remember that mom-clinginess preceeding her siblings dental arrivals. She's too young for teeth!!!

It's with each subsequent child that I realise just how fast the baby phases go. I'm one of those crazy women who loves newborns, and Ruby has just moved through all of this too fast. Add to that the fact that she may be our last baby, and I get kind of sad. :(

Another Easter has come and gone

Finally. Easter is over. Last week was LONG. Rob didn't have a day off, and the kids were wound up. I was stressed about life in general. Day trip to PA with Rob and Ruby. Mom was up for a couple of days. Saw the doctor. He frustrated me, I think he was projecting his wife's issues on to me (long story). But Easter Sunday came, we celebrated our Lord's victory over the grave and we had a lovely dinner. Mildred came and joined us for supper, as she did last year.

Isaac left with my mom yesterday for a couple of days at Nanny's house. The house is really quiet without him. :( I miss him, but he's having a blast. Norah is missing him too. We played in the backyard today, no jackets required it's so mild. I need to take the girls for groceries, but not until after naps now. I had my blood tests done today, I have a follow up appointment next Thursday. *sigh*

I'm rambling here, and not making sense. Off to have some lunch!

the best yet

Apparently, tonight's bread baking was my best ever, according to Rob. Woo hoo! Whole wheat flax seed bread. Very yummy if I do say so myself.

I will reserve comment on my doc appointment until later.

going to the doctor

Tomorrow, I'm going to finally see a doctor. First time since I had that renegade staple removed after Ruby's birth (that was, er, fun in itself). I've got something going on with me. Not sure what it is, but it's not normal. I was writing out my list of complaints the last few days. It's long. This can't be normal, and I can't ignore things hoping it will get better, because it's not. My mom is coming up to watch the kids for me, which will be nice. Rob is really tied up with work this week, and I need to get seen, I've been ignoring this too long. I don't think it's anything dire or serious, but it's there. Prayers would be nice if you think of me!

there are some new shots of the kids up on their blog

Romance? Yes indeed!

Funny how your idea of romance changes after kids.

- quick kisses while the kids giggle over breakfast
- Rob getting up with the kids so I can stay longer in bed
- a hug while passing in the hall...and a small pair of arms around the knees joins in
- snuggling on the couch while nursing the baby
- deep conversations in the van while kids snooze in the back
- collapsing onto the couch together after kids are in bed
- sharing the day's highlights in bed at the end of the day, but whispering in order not to wake the sleeping baby next to you
- subtle conversation hints that go way over the kids heads

Sure it's not all candlelit dinners and walks along the beach - those aren't safe anymore with kids around! But it brings out a whole new dimension to the love you have with your spouse.

my biggest flaw?

According to my mom, one of my biggest flaws as a mother is that I "have it too together". scratch head. I don't get that. The reason I'm having a hard time living in a new town is that I appear to have things so well put together that I don't need friends? What???

Seriously, has she not seen me with my kids? I know she's seen me on some off days, where I am upset that my kids are upset because *I* want to be the one having a temper tantrum. The days where I just want to scream, but don't so I don't wake someone up? The days where I complain about not being able to get anything done at all, despite having a husband that pulls more than his fair share of parenting and housework duties? The days where *my* needs take over Rob's time for working? If anything NOW is when I have had it the least together, where I have been the most dependant on others. Sure, I'm lousy at asking for help - especially when the people who have offered help with my kids are out to spank them *for me*...how nice.

I don't know. I don't think I look like I have things together, even though it's often way easier to deal with stuff in front of people, because I have to hold myself together (nobody wants to see a grownup have a temper tantrum...I think) But is that really why I haven't really been able to make friends and develop a support system here? I doubt it. Let's review. We moved here in February, it was snowy and hard to get out. One car, that Rob took with him. Then found out I was pregnant. Sick. Then spring came. Few places to take kids. The summer, everyone goes away. Then fall, very pregnant, 2 cars, but nowhere to go. Then new baby, and winter hits, darn near impossible to get out period. Combine that with a very close knit community that doesn't do well with outsiders, especially those who don't work with their husbands. Maybe *that's* why I'm having a hard time meeting people. I know my mom means well, but it really didn't help me at all.

could be TMI - you've been warned

There are a couple of threads going on on GCM about birth control. Then again, there usually are a few on the go. But that's beside the point.

Birth control. What to do about it. I've got lots of opinions and convictions...but no answers. We have a rule in this house, in theory, that we make no major decisions about fertility while pregnant or in the first 6 months post-partum. I say in theory, because we've been trumped before. And the 6 month mark is coming up soon. We both feel too young to say 'that's it, we're done' and take drastic action. However, I need to get some things worked out before we could ever consider the pregnancy route again. Mainly heath - I am going to finally see a doctor this week, after far too long. Also, I just cannot endure another c-section in the near future. I am still dealing with the last one emotionally. I have had more than one panic attack while watching surgery go bad on Grey's Anatomy, and cannot watch ER at all. I freak out.

So that brings up the question of birth control. I refuse all hormonal methods, on the principle of the potential abortificient properties. You know, the information on the pill that you really, really have to read the small print of the package information on. Back in the day, before I went and looked things up, I blindly swallowed that little pill and thought all was well. But it wasn't. I could dwell on the possible babies that may have been conceived and not allowed to grow. I could freak out over the hormal junk I poured into my body. Instead, I will acknowledge that I didn't do all the research, have since been convicted otherwise and move forwards. So, that rules out the shot and the pill. We have also come to the conclusion that we have no desire to mess around with my body's chemistry just because. Too many risks.

Then there is the IUD. An option that has been pushed on me in the past. That's simply a no-go here. The ONLY time I can recall Rob starting a sentence with "no wife of mine..." was a statement in relation to the IUD. I understand that. He had a bad experience with one, apparently they don't make good room (or womb) mates. So that's out.

What's left. No much. The barriers. You know the usual suspects. Pros and cons all over. And depending on ecological breastfeeding? Meet my third child. I'm waiting for my copy of TCOYF to arrive from Amazon so I can get all brushed up on charting and temping while breastfeeding. Apparently abstinance works too, but that is *NO* option (see, I said TMI *grin*)

Well, we will just have to wait and see...

bah!

CBC radio is saying that we may get flurries overnight and into tomorrow. I don't believe it. They also said that our high today would be 5. It's 11 and sunny. Take that CBC. The Weather Network isn't calling for any precipiation at all. I like them better.

Wednesday

I've accomplished some things today. That's good.
- got the girls out and dressed in time to pick Isaac up from preschool
- went to the newly started walking group at the track. did 3/4 mile before Isaac was done...he was wet and muddy from falling in the huge puddle in the middle of the track. doh! At least it was really warm out.
- dealt with all 3 kids pooping in a 15 minute span
- made grilled cheese for 2, reheated some casserole for my lunch, cleaned up afterwards
- got one girl down for a nap, Rob came home and got the other one sleeping
- read the next chapter of Charlotte's Web with Isaac, and got in some great cuddle time
- folded 2 loads of laundry
- ran the dishwasher
Not bad for someone who feels really sick.

what I didn't do:
- groceries. That was a big one. Was going to get them before Isaac was done at preschool, but we ran out of time

At least Rob will do a quick run for me today. We are making ice cream tonight with the stand mixer...needed some ingredients for that. I'm now simmering up some apple cider for myself. I sure hope I'm feeling better soon.

It really is spring.

Now I don't want to get too ahead of myself, but spring is really, really here. Today it is 15 degrees (or 60 for my US readers). The lake in the backyard is drying up, but of course the lowest, wettest part of the yard is where the swing set sits.

I've baked my second batch of bread - honey oatmeal. We ate almost a whole loaf at breakfast, lightly toasted with raspberry jam. Rebecca, I would send you a loaf if it wouldn't get hard in the mail ;)

Tonight is our small group, so I'm off to tidy the house up before we eat supper.

do you smell that?

The fresh baked bread in my kitchen AND the fresh spring air outside?

Spring is here! The snow is almost all gone, except for those places where it's all crusty. Our front lawn is a muddy mess, our backyard a lake of goo. Fun. The sidewalks are mostly dry, and it's warm today. In fact, we have been one of the province's hotspots the last few days. Yay! Even the wind feels warm today.

Then there is the bread. My first time baking bread and it turned out great! I did a basic white loaf recipe, and we ate almost all of one of the loaves with lunch. Fresh hot bread with butter. Delicious. I wonder what I'm going to make next....

home again

ahhhh, a break from town. A lovely visit with my mom. Conversation over wine, no cooking, new (and nice) home for the kids to play in, shopping,even a great trip to the portrait studio at Sears. I got a fantastic deal on my anniversary gift from Rob, even though I bought it myself. I am now the proud owner of a stand mixer. The very one I have been wanting for a few years now. Pistashio. 5 quart, 325 watt AND I got the ice cream maker attachment so I can make ice cream for Rob. I'm thrilled. A great trip. Aside from the head colds the girls and I have now. I feel awful. This would explain the crankiness they had. But they did sleep well most of the way home in the van!