Best one yet

Christmas, that is.

Really, this was just a wonderful Christmas. Aside from a Christmas Eve crazy couple of hours (to come later), this was one of the nicest ones in my memory.

Kids went to bed and sleep well, and had to be woken up in the morning - gotta be at church by 10, so have to get moving! Rob got home safely from his second service at the smaller town church, despite snow and bad roads. I "Santa'ed" up the house before he got home, and we got to sit and enjoy a glass of wine when he got back.

Christmas morning wasn't a huge present overload (yay for family sending money, not lots of gifts!). The kids were all excited by what they did get. I was pleasantly suprised by Rob's gift to me (my own ipod!), and managed to suprise him a big - which is hard given the book list he gives me. Then we went to church, then home for lunch, then into the van to go to my mom's. Our only issues were the wrecked wiper blade on the driver's side of the van (slushy roads - ick!), and needing to find a place for a bathroom stop at the halfway point of the trip.

Arrived at my mom's to a ready turkey dinner - yay! - and a few more gifts. My mom was thrilled with the vintage tin I found her, the kids loved what she had for them...and I got to give Rob our big suprise gift. A Wii! Somehow, my mom managed to track us down one in the city and buy it on my behalf. I'm shocked I kept quiet about it to Rob! My family tradition is to play a boardgame on Christmas night, after gifts and dinner. Last night, mom, Rob and I Wii'ed. How fun!

All in all, this was a great Christmas for other reasons too. Like homemade Christmas gifts that really went over well. Feeling that there was nothing we really 'needed' as gifts is a great feeling too. The real icing on the cake was getting an early birthday present from a couple of friends...and really realizing that there are friends here who *know* me, and care enough about me to get to know me and my likes and dislikes. That was beautiful and humbling, and I cried (and made them cry too). Now to make more friends like that would really be a fantastic Christmas and New Year blessing. *heart*

Come for a visit

If you can't make it out here for Christmas, I can at least show you around a bit. ;)


Just across from the front door is our card display. I made it in a (brief) flutter of craftiness.



This is also crafty, but I bought it. I just thought it was cute.



Our garland and tree. You probably can't tell, but the lights on the tree are white, and red on the garland. If you were here, I'd invite you sit down and I'd bring out snacks and a nice drink.



I like this touch - little wreaths around our dining room lights.


Merry Christmas from our family to yours! Wish you were here...or we were there (especially if it's warmer than here!)

Christmas themed links

for your enjoyment.

http://www.goingjesus.com/cavalcade/
http://www.goingjesus.com/cavalcade.shtml (these are two different displays, and both worth the look)
http://tackychristmasyards.com/

Take the Quiz here!

the good and the bad

Good:
I delivered two gifts today. One was handmade by me, the other a collaborative effort with my friend M. Both were very, very well received. Yay!

Bad:
picked up some vitamins and omega 3 capsules to help me deal with some 'gosh it's stupid dark and icky' winter stuff. That is fine. Just a warning though, if you take omega 3's that are fish oil based - if your coffee makes you burp at all, it WILL taste like salmon. ick.

one step forward...

and two back.

I guess that's typical, right?

sigh.

I hate winter, darkness, feeling just depressed enough to notice, but not depressed enough to do something about it. Feeling like I can't work the friendship gig, that I can't do the pastor's wife thing, the mom thing. That I'm a constant screw up across the board. Oh, and people sure do love to kick you when you are down, don't they? "oh here, let me point out your shortcomings, shall I?" "why didn't you do x?" Where is the support? The caring? The grace? I sure can't find it. I think I may be close to getting something right....but nope, I'm generally wrong. At least I'm consistent there.

Hey, isolation, meet your friend, Kristin. You'll get along great, really.

I nearly peed my pants

http://www.goingjesus.com/cavalcade.shtml

just go and read. but hit the bathroom first. really.

see thtat beautiful sunrise?

I took this photo this morning.

At 9:35 am.

I live way too far north.

I often feel stupid and numb. Sometimes at the same time. I wonder if my words, my actions have meaning. If what I say or do has resonance anywhere. If what I try to accomplish is doing anything. If I should love more and be less self aware, or be more self possessed and love more cautiously. If I even have the capacity to love more. Fog settles in to the brain too quickly.

I want to ponder deeper things, to yearn for depth in life, in relationship, in discussion. To hash out issues that trouble the soul (preferably over a glass....bottle of wine or coffee). I think that is my biggest struggle lately, the feeling of being so terribly shallow, and trying to remember how to swim in the deep end.

I need to swim in the deep end. Anyone want to come with me?

D

D is for Dye.

Hair dye. I dyed my hair this week. Nothing exciting or new about that - I've been dying my hair for ever. Well, at least for...gosh almost 20 years now! Once it was for fun, now it's to hide the hints of gray that poke their way out and annoy me.

Picking the box of hair dye brought back memories. Of young girl giggles, a pair of barely teenaged girls, thinking we were up to trouble by lacing our hair with colour. Rinsing out auburn dye and hoping it didn't stain the bathtub or towels, too nervous to pull the towels off to see the results, but too excited not to. Wanting to make a statement, but yet not to be noticed. Good times.

Which makes me wonder what would have been different, how the twists in the road may have looked if relationships hadn't changed. evolved. ended. Would friendships that formed over giggles and 'minor offenses' have been different, if one party hadn't moved, if contact had been better maintained? Some days I wonder. I really wonder. Makes me wonder if someone could be missing me, or relationship we once had.

C is for

Coffee. 'nuff said.


Children - I'm happy with 3, thankyouverymuch. I love having three children, and they are the greatest blessing, it's just not always a cup of tea to be outnumbered.

Church - lots of meanings here. The physical church building, the church body of believers, the bigger church. I'm talking about the body of believers in our church. I'm really really starting to like some of them a lot, and some days I feel really blessed to be able to be a part of their lives. Some of them, well, they require extra grace. A lot of extra grace. *wink*

B

B is for Blogging

Something I do. *grin* Although, some days I'm not entirely sure why. Not sure what my "voice" is trying to say. I've been at this almost 3 years now, and I started this blog to journal our move, and to keep in touch. 3 years...wow. A lot changes in 3 years.

I guess I blog so that it feels like the words I say go further than the walls of our house. That the thinks I think may have some meaning. It's not always been a smooth blogging experience, but I guess that's part of the trip, right?

B is for busting out of town.

what I did on Thursday. I'm home now. Went to my meeting, did some shopping, drank some coffee. I like the freedom of going out and the anonymity of the city. Sometimes it's really nice to just be a face in the crowd.

he loves me

It's currently -30 something with the wind chill. My van seems to be dead (stoopit thing), probably because we didn't plug it in. Rob is out there right now jump starting it so I can drive to my mom's with the kids this afternoon. That's love.

Not sure if I'd do the same for him - it's really cold out there ya'll!

ABC's

Decided to go on a bit of a blogging ABC kick. Starting today. With A.


A is for Anger

I don't like getting angry, yet I do it. My kids make me angry, I just want them to do what I want them to do, when I want them to do it. Not always realistic, but it still frustrates me and gets me angry some days. Stupid drivers make me angry. We have all these uncontrolled intersections in town, and the rule is, first there, first goes. If two cars get there at the same time, yield to the one on the right. That NEVER happens. Either someone assumes the right of way when it's not theirs, or someone sits there, and sits and waves you through. Ever since my car accident, I'm terribly wary of being waved through an intersection. I get angry because, well, just follow the rules already! Then again, am I really angry, or just really agitated? Could be just agitated. But Angry sounds more exciting.

A is for Anal

as my previous paragraph shows, apparently, I am anal about some things. blah. Although, I have been called anal about things in a good way...there is a good way, right?

look what I did!

For our entrance - I stained this pine bench. Although, I wish we had bought it earlier, because staining things in the garage when it's below freezing isn't something I'm in a huge rush to do again.

It needs a bit of touch up work, but it holds at least 4 snowsuits and accessories to help corral the clutter in the front entrance/living room!

something crafty

The kids and I went to a birthday party today for my friend B's son. As we're close to Christmas, I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to bring a toy for a gift, and our book selections in town are, well, lacking, I thought I would get a little crafty.

A hand-painted sign on canvas was the result. I'm no artist, but I think it turned out ok.

It was a full day today, between the birthday party, kids swimming lessons and the local craft fair. I went to the craft fair and managed to find a couple of things I liked...for me... However, there were some things that I would love to have for myself that weren't there. Got me thinking of some crafty ideas to build on. hmmm.....
if only I could sew...

I'm generally not a knick-knack kind of girl. I don't really maintain much in the way of collections, possibly because I don't care for dusting. However, while on my little shopping excursion with Janice the other day, I found this.



Isn't it just darling? I just loved it, so I bought it. It was crazy cheap too. It reminded me somewhat of the church of my young childhood, St. John's...which is now the town museum. White and black with the front entrance/narthex set out from the building.

washing my hands

yep. washing my hands of a few thing. it's good to do. but it still hurts.

Loving

- snow tires on van
- a last minute shopping outing with a friend
- finding fun things on said shopping trip - things that cover up the icky 'used to be a clock holder, but is now just useless and ugly' spot on my kitchen cupboards. Things like a neat Christmas present for my mom













-snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes (or on the hood of a jacket)
















Not Loving

- the irony of getting stuck in a snowbank after getting snow tires on the van
- more kid injuries in home
- having to wait 3 days for a minor dental emergency for my child
- finding the cutest little antique cupboard, and nowhere to put it
- thinking that one child's cough is sounding too asthmatic for comfort
- feeling like I'm not all together, physically or mentally.
- that Jesse (trainer) is going to be away for 3 weeks
- trying to figure out how to really do the friendship thing all over again. tying that in with my innate insecurity, it's not a great combo

blah, blah, blah

What I'm loving
- looking at snow

- day out to city for camp AGM without kids

- long distance phone calls from people who love me

- playdates

- playdates for mom to go to, after bedtime for children

- giggling and good conversation at said playdates

- picking myself a new pair of 'pretty' winter boots

- starting Christmas baking

- potty trained children

What I'm not loving

- snow still falling, without snow tires on van yet

- having to shelve much anticipated travel plans for a variety of reasons (pout pout)

- our bathroom looking like a scene out of Psycho this week, as two children have bathtub related injuries

- persistent health issues, without good explanation or doctor support to help solve

- working hard, but no results.

- not feeling the love

- feeling cranky about these things