I often feel stupid and numb. Sometimes at the same time. I wonder if my words, my actions have meaning. If what I say or do has resonance anywhere. If what I try to accomplish is doing anything. If I should love more and be less self aware, or be more self possessed and love more cautiously. If I even have the capacity to love more. Fog settles in to the brain too quickly.

I want to ponder deeper things, to yearn for depth in life, in relationship, in discussion. To hash out issues that trouble the soul (preferably over a glass....bottle of wine or coffee). I think that is my biggest struggle lately, the feeling of being so terribly shallow, and trying to remember how to swim in the deep end.

I need to swim in the deep end. Anyone want to come with me?