almost back to 2

One of the nights I was at my mom's place, I ended up putting Ruby down on Norah's mattress. I brought N's bed mattress along (it's small-ish and foam), because she is too big for the pack and play. N was in the big bed, and I wasn't prepared to put them in bed together without me being there.

Well, got the shock of my life that she slept from 9 to 2:30. Nice!

So, we're working on the big transition out of our bed now.

Of all 3, R has been the easiest to co-sleep with. She's the least kicky and tossy-turvy of the kids, even though she is prone to spread eagle bed takeovers. We've resisted the big move out because N isn't always asleep when R conks out at night, and I don't like the idea of them waking each other up yet. Yet, if we all get more sleep, it could be a good thing.

I guess that pretty crib my dad bought before Isaac was born should at least get used a few times before R outgrows it!

woo hoo! a party last night! As snow (and a very, very long work day for Rob) kept us at my mother's for an extra night, I got to join in on my mom's Oscar party. I played bartender for her and her 3 friends. Pomegranate martinis, served with yummy appies. I was a much more successful bartender than my last attempt, years ago...

It was great meeting my mom's friends, her three pals in town. They meet at least twice a week for coffee, church, and laughs. I'm so happy she is finding a home in her new place.

Also, mildly jealous, but that's another post. I was thrilled to come home to some long distance phone messages. People *do* like me!

blah

I'm in Saskatoon. I really, really miss living in a city. I'm a town girl.

I miss having places to go, things to do, the possibility of friends...

I miss it a lot, and I'm tired and I'm sad.

Do I give off don't talk to me vibes or something? seriously? blah.

Valentine's Day

We are not terribly sentimental in our household. Which is sometimes a loss, but not a big one today.

Isaac went to preschool with homemade cookies, filled with Hershey's Hugs. Ready to distribute to the class. Rob got a home cooked meal...ok, not that shocking, since he gets one every night, but I did a balsamic/red wine glazed steak that was rather lovely. I got a card and a bunch of tulips. I'm happy. Much as I love the idea of being romanced and plied with fancy gifts, it's currently not in the budget, flowers in this town are lacking in selection, I don't really wear jewelry, and I'm not eating chocolate (except for the leftover Hugs I scarfed down today *blush*).

Actually, what seems even more romantic than fancy meals and gifts is the little things. A kitchen tidied up after supper. Kids bathed and readied for bed while I'm out. Plugging in my van for me while I get to stay warm. Doing all the laundry, except for folding. My husband may not be the poster boy for romance, in the traditional sense...but he is a prize I wouldn't trade for anything. No way.

I thank God for my husband daily, for the blessing he is in my life, the father he is to our children, and the wonderful friend and love that he is to me.

2 years

Just for the record - we had our 2 year anniversary of arriving here in town this past Tuesday.

It's been a really fast, yet terribly, terribly slow 2 years.

copied from a thread on GCM I wrote

took the kids to playgroup today. We were all thrilled to be (finally) out of the house. It was packed, and the room was set up differently. But that didn't stop me, oh no. The older 2 were up front for story and song time, and Boo was playing at the table area, where we do crafts after song and story. She was climbing up and down on to the chair, and up and down. I was chatting quietly to one of my mommy buddies, when Boo leaned over and fell head first towards the tile over concrete floor. There was a collective gasp from all the moms around me as my youngest dropped face down.

I simply reached down and grabbed her by the pants and managed to stop her mid-fall...with less than an inch of room between her head and the floor.

She cried for all of 10 seconds from the fright of it all.

I am Supermom. I have cat-like reflexes. She was fine.

I, however, could have used some more coffee and a new pair of underpants.

***Rob took Isaac for a haircut yesterday, and his hairstylist told him how amazed she was to watch the above take place. She was very impressed by my reflexes and how calm I was through the whole thing. :)***

my new blog

I just started up a new blog. I joined an 'underground' WW group, and decided to start a blog to post recipes and tips on. If you are a fellow WW, and want to join in, let me know. I can add you as an author and we can share recipes that are yummy and that our kids/husbands like. :)
www.renegadeww.blogspot.com

blah

I'm sick today. Went to bed last night, and realised I couldn't get warm. Used an extra blanket and my bathrobe to keep warm and was still shivering. Very achy today and nauseous. No fun. At least Rob's second service is cancelled today, so I can veg out a bit.

I had a double playdate this past week. 2 women over with their kids. We had 7 kids under age 5 in the house. Wild, but lots of fun. That was a good thing. Still not sure if I'm going to end up liking it here or not though. :/ Isaac's skating lesson wasn't as fun in the 'adult interaction' category. Blah.

So, I didn't go to church today. I think I need a nap, but I probably won't get one. I hope this being sick thing passes quickly.

I think we are going to do something fun on Friday. Rob has been working through some of his days off lately, and we just haven't had any fun Fridays in some time. So we may be road tripping somewhere this Friday. I need to get out of town. Heck, I need to get out of the house. These cold days make me want to stay inside, but the kids are getting a bit stir crazy. Don't blame them. I'm hoping it gets milder soon, so we can go sledding or play in the yard again. It's just too cold right now.

where to go...

It's not quite February, but it's time for us to be planning our vacation for this year.

We may be going back to camp for a week, but nothing is set yet. We are also going to be taking close to a week in October to go to Vernon for a wedding. That leaves us with just over 3 weeks time.

We did Vancouver last year. And we don't want to go every year, despite some family pressure to do that. I want to go east to see friends, but it would be either very a) expensive to fly and then rent a car or b) long to drive there with the kids. It would be great to do...but the actual logistics of it aren't that easy to plan. We could look into renting a cabin at the lakes near here, but that is still so close to home, I'm not sure if it would feel like a real vacation. In fact, we could totally rent a cabin for a week, and Rob could work from the cabin and come into town on Sunday. We could drive down to visit Rob's grandmother and extended family in the southern part of the province...but I can't see us spending our whole vacation in Weyburn. (yawn)

There is also the possibility of people coming here to visit. I know at least 2 people/parties have already talked about doing that. Just need to figure that out too.

I need a plan.

"Getting away from your kids"

This is an issue that comes up frequently on my "motherboard". It's also one I hear about rather frequently in my life. The *need* to get away from your kids.

I don't really agree with it.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love to have my *me* time in the day. The time when the kids nap/have quiet time in the afternoon. The post-bedtime hours when I don't have to be 'mom on call'. When I'm at the pool for aquafit classes, or step out without the kids to get my haircut. I love that time, time to recharge my brain, to talk to other adults, to not negotiate who has the next turn on the trampoline or who wants their apple cut into slices. I also have a totally fantastic and competent husband who is an amazing father and is able to parent when I'm not around.

I don't get the need to leave tiny children for extended periods, or when they are in needy stages to get away. I could give specifics of people I know who have made choices that I wouldn't have made by leaving little children/babies for too long or too early for my liking...but that wouldn't be kind. They aren't my choices or my children.

Thing is, they are my children. They are my responsibility, and it's me (or Rob) that they want and need. Why deny them that when they are so little? Yes, I need *me* time, but I won't take it at the expense of my children. Not when I have a nursling who wakes at night and doesn't (by choice or by chance) take a bottle, or a toddler who is dealing with separation anxiety. I don't need to leave tiny children for a week to laze on a beach somewhere and connect with my husband to make our marriage better. I just don't. And I don't understand those who do. I don't.

I find that there are many, many opportunities to connect with my husband, without needing to rush out for weekends away. We can have romantic moments at home, with the little ones sleeping in the next room - we don't have to pass them off to extended family to care for while we do what we want to do. We can still *date* in the comfort of our own home and have it be enough to keep our marriage fires burning. Because our children are little and need us - right now. This phase is short, and it goes so quickly, I'm not willing to compromise it for my own desires.

My oldest child is almost 5, and he does weekends away at my mom's. He is ready for that. He can handle the separation and looks forward to those times. Nothing got him ready for that kind of separation but time. He wouldn't have done so well with that kind of thing at 4, 10, 18 months. Now he's happy to spend a couple of nights away, and we're happy to have him go. He isn't sad when we are separated, but we all miss each other...but we know that it isn't for long. He's old enough to understand that we will be coming back. That's a skill that our 14 month old doesn't have yet, or even our 2 year old.

I guess what I don't fully understand is the need to push our children into being 'independant' before they are ready to be. We won't produce children who are 'too attached' or 'coddled' by being there for them when they need it - quite the opposite, in fact. Tiny ones need the stability of mom (and/or dad) in those first couple of years. Nursing babies shouldn't have to 'just take a bottle' for the convienence of mom's social life. These are things I have been told I should do...often by those who don't have children. ;) I don't need to leave my children for extended periods to take care of myself. That's not something I'm willing to do. Not yet. The time will come when taking a weekend away is totally feasible. I'm not willing to push my children 'into independance' to see it happen.

After the visit

I had such a great visit with Bonnie. It was so great to finally meet the person behind the voice and typing. Ya, probably seems strange to have someone I didn't really 'know' come and stay with us...but this is the age of internet dating, so why not internet friendship? ;)

Lots of great talks, kids got along great considering there were 5 under 5 in the house, and some good laughs. Wish it was longer, but maybe next time. And there will be a next time, there has to be.

Yesterday, I hit a wall of tiredness. After being 'go go go' since last week, and 2 days of driving to Edmonton and back again, it hit me hard. I just vegged out on the couch and whined at Rob, ok, not *at* him, but in his general direction. He refilled my coffee and hugged me. That was good. My house needs a good cleaning right now, and I'm out of energy. It will happen, probably tomorrow. There is always tomorrow!

counting the hours!

woo hoo! in mere hours I'll be picking up B and her kids for a visit! Isaac is excited to meet Nathan, and Norah is confused by the mention of "the other Nora". I'm excited too. House guests!

Houseguests who I really hope don't freeze. It's a huge difference in climate from 'there' to 'here'.

I had such a busy day today. I think I hit brain meltdown around 7 pm. I did get a lot of stuff done. I got a new haircut today, and I really like the way it looks all styled...so I don't want to sleep on it. I will probably never be able to replicate this look again. sigh. oh well, it looks good now.

I've hesitated to post...

Not that I belive in jinxing myself, but I really think that I've found my groove with 3 kids. A good groove. Life is happening, and it's feeling good. I'm finding balance in my days, mostly enough rest in my nights, and giggles daily. It's good. I like it.

I'm on a bit of a roll (ok, 2 times) with playgroup. I don't feel like crying when we go. In fact, I'm enjoying it as more than 'just getting out of the house already'.

I'm feeling good. It's showing in how I'm dealing with the kids too.

a few in a row

It's really been a few fantastic days in a row here, kid-wise. Yes, Norah is still having 'out of nowhere' meltdowns from time to time. I can work with that. Ruby had a small fall and got a bit of a fat lip tonight, but I can handle that. It's good. I've really been enjoying the kids a lot lately. It's nice.

cold snap, warm heart

The cold snap lingers on. This morning, it took a lot of energy and will to get out the door for church. As the temperature hovered just around the -40 mark, what I really wanted to be doing was spending a quiet morning in the house finishing off the coffee. Instead, I was herding the children out to the (pre-warmed) van to go worship our Lord.

I didn't teach a Sunday school class today, as we were having a double baptism. I kept the kids with me during the service, and they did great. I'm really impressed at how well they are able to handle a service 'from the pews' at their ages. After church, and coffee time, G and S had everyone from the family over to their house for lunch and we were invited too. Rob had to head out for his second service and I decided to brave the typical post-church delayed naptime, which could easily turn into meltdown city.

I was pleasantly surprised. My children, all 3 of them, were fantastic. Not that I expect less than 'good' behaviour in public, I just know that 1 pm is a hit or miss time for the girls. It was a hit. They were a hit, actually. G's sister R was telling me how much she was enjoying my children's presence at the event, how well they listened (I double checked to see whose children had come with me - nope, they were mine!), how polite Isaac and Norah were, and how much fun Ruby was. We had lunch, mingled and left without a meltdown, injury or any chance for mom to lose her temper. What a blessing to have such a great day, especially given my typical Sunday afternoon post-church meltdowns, as the stress of 'doing church' with the kids will often do me in. I think it helped I avoided sugar all day too. ;)

The afternoon after getting home was also good - given the late naps by the girls. Isaac and I had some fun tidying up the living room, starting supper, and 'making mail' for his homemade mailbox. He amazes me daily with his ability to spell and write, not to mention read. Rob got home just before 5, and we had a fantastic dinner - pork roast, with a nice bottle of red. We all giggled and chatted through the meal, and really enjoyed each other's company. Nice.

All in all, just a smooth, lovely day. They are all tucked in bed right now, cozy and peaceful. The space heaters run, to keep the chilly bedrooms toasty. The dinner dishes are done, the wine has *just* been finished, the house feels like home. Despite the cold outside, and the ice on the windows, it's warm in here. Warm and loving and just right. If I were Goldilocks, *this* would be where I would lie down and proclaim "just right".

Antoher day, another funeral

Or not.

We're having a snowstorm/blizzard here right now. It's been snowing since last night, and it's so, so windy. The snow is drifting in strange patterns, and it has covered our front walkway that was so nicely cleared for us by a neighbour. I'm so glad I heeded the weather warning and hit the grocery store yesterday, so we can stay indoors. brrr.

Rob, however, is waiting to hear if the funeral he is supposed to do this afternoon is still on. There is family due to come from out of town, and all the highways are closed.

In fact, all the highways in this part of the province are closed. It's a large stretch from north of here down to Saskatoon and even further south. It's actually a bit of a sober reminder of how isolated we are here. In the event of a major injury, we would have to rely on our small hospital here - which would be fine in some cases...but not all. And with these weather conditions, a medivac air transport would be impossible as well. Goodness, that makes one feel small and a touch vulnerable.

So, I'm sticking with coffee, comfy track pants and fuzzy slippers for today. Not venturing out at all. nu-uh

some days, it really freaks me out to see some of the pics on our niece's blog. DH and his brother look SO much alike in some photos. I think to myself "when did Rob shave, and why is he playing with Katie?"

my first post of 2007

I've been cleaning like a madwoman. We're hosting our Open House tomorrow - Epiphany. Finally, after putting it off after Judy's funeral. It's a lot of work, but I love hosting stuff like this - anyone remember our Open Houses back in the day?

The house has been getting completely cleaned. It's a lot harder to do with the kids around though. They tend to mess things up as soon as I clean them. I'm also working on removing fingerprints from places we never had to worry about pre-kids. I really hope we can keep things looking this nice until tomorrow afternoon. It's a lot harder to do our floors too, with these stupid gaps in between the boards. Blah.

I'm also off sugar. Yikes! All the reading I've been doing points towards it being a good idea for me to do. It's just hard. Really hard. Do you know how hard it is to find sugar free yogurt that DOESN'T have Splenda in it? I'm trying to avoid fake sugar too. It's been going better than I expected, but today I did cheat a bit. Needed to sample our punch - we are trying out a new one. Most of my good punch recipes contain citrus of some sort, which Norah can't have. Then I made some fudge, and licked the spoon afterwards. Not a lot though.

Rob has managed to wire up both our computers now, so we don't have to fight for internet use. The laptop is now wireless as well. Nice. It only took a couple of phone calls to his brother ;)

Winter is here for sure now. We have had a couple of days of temperatures near freezing, which did a fun number on the snow. Instead of soft, fluffy snow, it's now crusty. :/ Oh well. At least we had some lovely, mild days. I took the kids sledding yesterday, and am trying to get some video up on their blog but haven't had success yet.

Anyway, this is just rambly. I'll post more later.

it's my birthday

Rob and I had a date last night! First *real* date in a long, long time. I got dressed up - well, so did he - and we went out for a lovely dinner at a real restaurant, with a wine list and menus that aren't posted on the walls. Then we went a browsed in a bookstore. Lovely. Just lovely. The kids did great at my mom's place, and 2 out of 3 were sleeping when we got back.

We got home today after being at my mom's place since Wednesday. The last few days were jam-packed with shopping and activity. We had a good chunk of Christmas money to spend, and spend we did. Got some great things that the kids needed, that I wanted, and a few random things for the house. I got ice skates, and I can't wait to try them out with Isaac in the next few days. It's been a LONG time since I've skated though. This could be interesting. Although, my new skates would give my much more 'street cred' than my old white figure skates back in the day when Tracy and I used to play hockey with the boys in the neighbourhood on Friday nights back in Montreal. Ahh yes, life back in the land of outdoor skating rinks.

Norah was super cranky today. The lunch time fast food stop with a playplace too 'grown up' for her didn't help. Turns out, she's feverish. Fun. Another 'fun road story' from today - I don't think I will take Rob's word on the gas levels in my van again. I was sure we were short on gas, but he kept insisting we would be fine. At 25 kms outside of Battleford, the gas light came on. And if you have ever driven the #16...you know there isn't anything between 25 kms out of Battleford and Battleford itself. I was in minor panic mode, imagining being stuck on the side of the highway, while Rob was going to get us gas. Oh, and did I forget to mention he forgot to charge his cell phone too? So we could have been at the mercy of some strangers on the highway. Ya, fun. Next road trip, I override Rob's gas predictions. ;)