rambly thoughts tonight

I should really be cleaning the kitchen right now, or doing laundry. But my brain is turning. I'm thinking about a birth control thread on GCM that's bugging me. I'm thinking about how messy my kitchen is. I'm thinking about how proud I am that Isaac pooped in the toilet today on his own.
Mainly though I'm thinking about me. The impact I may or may not be having on the world around me. My existance and how much it "is".

I have a good friend, and anytime we go somewhere, people recognize her. Seriously, everywhere we go (or used to, she and I don't live near each other right now). I never have that. In fact, I'm totally taken aback when someone recognizes me. Like I expect to fade into the background. As if I don't expect anyone to notice me at all. Strange.

When I was in high school, I went back to NS to visit a family friend. We had gone to school together in Quebec, and had since moved to NS to a town really close to where I had lived until grade 3. She was actually in the high school I would have attended had we not moved away years before. And funny enough, while I was there for 2 days, a girl I had been in kindergarten with called. Meghan said, "I wonder if you would remember the person who is at my house right now". And she did, and even said that a group of people had been talking about the "kids who left" and my name came up. That floored me. A good 8 years after I had moved away, someone remembered me.

So I guess people do remember me. But it seems strange that anyone should. That I should stick out enough for someone to take notice. I wonder what's with that, where my brain is, what's behind those thoughts. Do I not think I'm worthy enough to notice or remember. Do I just think I'm forgettable. I wonder what my issue is.

That's what I'm thinking about tonight. *shrug* kind of depressing actually.