It would seem that my previous post has created some strong reactions. I have currently pulled it. In reading over the post in question, it would seem as though the actual target for my frustration was a little less than clear.

One thing that frustrates me to no end as a mother is the outside pressure to 'get away from your babies'. To wean early, to 'get that kid on a bottle and get your life back'.

Maybe not everyone out there knows, remembers, or cares that I have experience in a less than good nursing relationship. I had to wean my middle child unexpectedly, and rather abruptly and introduce formula. I walked that path, I know it. I still struggle with some of the guilt over that.

And when I had to go through that process, do you know what the main comment from people was in regards to weaning my baby? "Congratulations. Now you can get your life back". No matter HOW I was feeding my baby, I still had a 7 month old child, there was no life to get back. Regardless of how my child received nourishment, I was still there for her, was still holding her close and rocking her to sleep. I didn't understand the attitude about having a break for freedom. I still don't. I don't, and I've had my bad, dark days as a mom. I have no desire to leave my children at this age for a week long trip away, a night of 'partying' at the bar, or leaving a 10 week old overnight 2 hours drive away for a rock concert. I don't understand it at all. I can't understand it.

I truly believe that the best thing we can do for our children is to be attached to them, to show them love and support and care, particularly in the first year to 18 months of life. I believe that daddies play an extremely important role in caring for babies too. I believe that taking the time to lay a strong foundation of love, trust and care is key in maintaining a strong relationship down the road. I believe that this is part of how God wants us to parent. That is the standard I hope to achieve in my home. I choose to show God's love to those around me, and believe that my primary ministry is to the little people in my home who call me "mommy". If I cannot provide my best, and what I believe God's desire is for my best to be to them, how then can I show that to others? If my children don't believe that their father and I love and value them and their needs, how well will they be able to comprehend the unconditional love of God? I know I struggle daily and wrestle mightily with some of the choices that my earthly father made and how that impacts my view of God daily. A legacy I do not ever intend to pass on.

I don't judge others in my heart and write them off for making different choices than I do. I don't. I may judge the actions, but not the person. And yes, there is a huge difference. I may not understand those choices. I don't understand those choices being the mainstream, encouraged way to parent. Why is it applauded for parents to leave their toddlers for a week for a vacation? Why is it applauded for babies to be weaned on our schedule? Why do people tell me I'm 'crazy' for not being able to leave a nursling so I can go out for a night of drinking? (actual reference) Or to hear that I'm 'lame' for doing something so 'boring' as nursing (another conversation I've had). I know judgment, I've been on the receiving end of it. I face it almost daily. I don't understand another's choices because they aren't mine! I make lots of choices other people don't understand either. Heck, I have a green stand mixer - is that everyone's first colour choice? On the other hand, I've also been on the 'other side' of some of the choices I make, and I wouldn't say the grass is any greener.

Children aren't convenient - as witnessed by the number of times I have had to throw out plans for something I wanted to do to take care of a sick child, or had to leave an event earlier than I wanted to in order to make everyone have a successful trip. They just aren't. Children are a blessing, and need to be treated as such. I also know as a mom who is parenting with precious little support outside of my own home, that their father and I are the main people who will show Christ's love to them as they grow. That is a weight I do not take lightly.

In short (or long, as the case may be), I am frustrated that there is so little value placed on motherhood, on the short time our children are babies and need us, on the importance of being the primary person in a small person's life. Don't even get me started on the USA's 6 week maternity leave. The issues I wrestled with in my now pulled post were not about breastfeeding vs. bottlefeeding, it was the lack of support for mothering the way our hearts are led. I know the women I mentioned, and I know that they were encouraged to make the choices they made by their outside support, for reasons that make no sense to me. I may be making choices others can't understand, but I make the ones that God has put on my heart, and I strive to be faithful to His leading in my parenting. That is where I have been led. It is His standard for my life that I try to live up to.