I think I need stronger meds

I don't think my meds are strong enough. I've been back for more bloodwork, but no matter what the results say, I KNOW they aren't strong enough. I've been feeling more 'off' lately, and I'm not handling it well.

Today, I had a huge meltdown. Of course, it doesn't help that it feels like I'm on a never-ending ride of stressors. Things keep getting thrown at me, and I feel like such a drama queen over it, but it's just so hard sometimes. I'm not sure if this is just life, or what, but it sure feels like a lot on my plate. All 3 of my kids are draining me like mad right now too. This morning was hard. I finally called Rob upstairs to bail me out because it was either me losing it on my own, or taking it out on them - which I don't want to do.

It's so strange, it's like I'm completely rational in my irrational-ness. It's like I'm seeing myself on the verge of control and out of control, and the one thing that's keeping me from crossing that line is the knowledge that I would have consequences to my actions. Ok, now I sound crazy. But maybe if I really *was* crazy, it would be easier. As it is, I don't think I am, I just feel that I *could* be. hmmm. clear as mud?

Yep, I need stronger meds. Today I took 2 pills instead of one, and I'll see how that goes. Almost all of my previous symptoms are ramping up again, and I don't like it. Yep, here comes the 'almost noon headache' that I used to get pretty much daily.