Some days, it's like high school never ended. I always assumed that once I "grew up", that life would be more grown up. In so many ways, it's not. Sure, we're legal to drink alcohol now and most of my friends have mortgages, or car payments, or kids, or a combination of all three....but some things just don't change.
Peer pressure is still there. It's different than it was back in the day, but it's there. What we drive, what we wear, what accessories we have - that's all the same.
The "mommy peer pressure", now that's another beast altogether. I think it starts during pregnancy. When are you due? Where are you having your baby? Who is your OB/midwife? Then moves into birth - home? hospital? c-section? drugs? As your children grow, you talk about what they are doing, what they aren't doing, how well they are doing things.
It's often not a huge issue. Really, it's something to converse about and share in the parenting journey. But there is always a mom or two who is all about how they fit in that range of what everyone else is doing, or what everyone else's kids are doing. Which can quickly turn into a one-upmanship of "your baby walked at 12 months? Mine walked at 11". Or "your child wrote their name at 4, mine was 3". Or the mom who is all about putting their kids in fancy labels (granted, many good brand clothes simply wear better long term, but it's entirely possible to dress your kids well without being all about the labels - I know you know what I mean) Bah. That's the stuff that is annoying, the stuff that makes you feel like you are back in high school.
Then there is the pressure to do what everyone else's kids are doing. Hockey, skating, music classes, soccer. There is only enough time in the day, there is only enough money to participate in so many things. The activities themselves aren't an issue, it's when you get looked down on, or look down on others for not participating in these things, that's when it's silly.
I'm not saying that I feel this kind of pressure. I think I have some lovely friends who aren't all about stuff and doing (shoutout to the mommy friends!). I do, however, have some aquaintences who brush up against my circles (in more than one province) who are more into the labels, the hip activities, the doing, the "stuff". It's often comical to watch the one-upmanship that happens in those groups of moms, or to have those conversations with moms who are more focused on those things than I choose to be.
Not that I'm totally immune to it either. I wish I was. sigh
See, you may leave high school....but it never leaves you.
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1 comment:
((((HUGS))))
We all exist in this fishbowl of motherhood, and I get frustrated with the number of times that I try to explain to people that we aren't in this, or that, or the other, often all at once, in part because especially now, we are in a battle to preserve our meaningful and intensive family life. I need my children to learn to play together, whether they want to or not. They must learn to accept each other for who and what they are, in every mood. And I want them to learn that chores aren't always fun, and I'm not always fun, and neither are they!, but everyone has to do chores, and deal with people, and, and, and,... just everything else that comes from being at home, not running to or doing many other things all the time, in groups of people where you can flip from one to the next.
There are shades of high school, for sure, which was a place where I cringed before entering every day.
So here's to Moms, and Motherhood, spent in a fishbowl...
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