more stay at home thoughts

I've been struggling these days with wanting to be out of the house more. The idea of working again has been tempting some days. Then I realize how totally impractical it is. A week of working Vacation Bible School - only half days! - and I'm so beat, and my house is showing it. I've been gone from Ruby more than usual, and that's been hard too. I'm tired, and I can't imagine doing it every week. Throw in that we can't afford the daycare, and it would be so SO silly for me to consider working again. We've never had the option of having family care for our kids, and even here, where prices are cheaper, daycare costs would pretty much cancel out any salary I would earn.

My hat is off to women who are able to balance work and kids. It must be so hard.

Not to mention I've seen a couple of our local daycare workers in action. I'd rather my kids be with me, I know them and love them better than any daycare provider could. Some of these women I've observed have been really great with the kids, but I can't say the same for all of them. Not that they are horrible, they aren't. They aren't quite the same as mom, and that's a good reminder why I am home.

I can get over myself having a bad day at home, or feeling like I'm a touch bored from time to time. That's ok. I can deal. I also love not having to follow someone else's schedule for my time, and that is a HUGE plus. Some days, it's hard not to look at the "other side of the fence" and wonder what it would be like.