cross post from GCM

This week has been very busy, both girls have a tummy bug or something. I had this great ah-ha moment on Wednesday night that I wanted to share here though. My oldest is in ice skating lessons on Wednesday evenings. He was excited, but really unsure on the ice. A lot of "help me, help, help" and wanting to be held up and assisted on the ice. I was frustrated holding him up, I just wanted him to skate already. I didn't want to hold him up, he was making *me* wobbly on the ice. I just would tell him to stand up, you can do it. "help help, I can't". He had 2 big falls one night 3 weeks ago, where he actually was bleeding from his nose and mouth (bit his lip). I was so worried that skating was not going to work out, that we had wasted our money, that he was never going to skate. And then last night happened. I was tired, he was tired. I was sure we were going to have a bad night. I was wrong. He stepped out on the ice and WENT. Just started doing everything right. He wasn't fully skating, but he was 'marching', like the coaches told them to. He was stopping and turning, he was hokey pokey-ing, he was stretching and even jumping a bit. He was standing up after falling down. Without me. He wanted me there, but just to be there, not to help him. He was doing it. Even the coaches were saying "what happened with him? where did this confidence come from?" And then it hit me. I know where that confidence came from. I've seen it before. When my oldest was little, he needed my help, he needed me...all the time. I carried him around, nursed him on cue, coslept...I was there when he needed me to be. I had people tell me that he would never get out of my bed, never wean, never sleep through the night, never walk on his own. And one day, he did do all those things. On his timeframe. When he was ready. Just like the skating. When he was ready to step out on the ice without me, he did. He needed to know that I was there to literally pick him up when he couldn't. Which I did - until he was ready to do it by himself. When he didn't need me to do it. Later that night, DH and I were talking about it. About how much that experience reminded us of how he transformed from clingy and needy little baby to independant and confident toddler and preschooler. How meeting his needs then may have been hard, but worth the payoff. Just like meeting his needs on the ice was hard - ever sat on ice in jeans while holding a crying child? There are many ways that is no fun. Yet, last night, I got to watch him take off over the ice, on his own, confident and capable. I was proud of him and for him.