time just flies by

I can't believe how fast the time gets away on me. The last few weeks have been a total blur. Nanny diagnosed with terminal liver cancer and a quick flight (ha!) into Vancouver for a week with the kids to visit and say goodbye. A crazy week in Vancouver, where I didn't get to do half of what I wanted to do. Strange being in Van again. It was really weird. It felt like home, yet nothing like it at the same time. Yet, Meadow Lake didn't feel like home either. I finally figured it out after I got back to our house, after a 2 hour plane ride and a 3 hour drive with the kids. HOME is where Rob and my kids are. Period. That's home. Where my family is...and my family is now my kids and spouse, instead of my parents and sibling. Does that make me a grown up?

Seeing my grandmother was really strange. She has been unwell for the last 2 years or so, but this almost feels like she is ready to give up. Like the cancer is giving her permission to not fight anymore. I really hope I don't feel like that when I'm old - like life still doesn't hold any promise of something beautiful to come. It was sad to visit, knowing that Tuesday, September 20 was possibly the last time I would ever see her alive. I also got in a visit with the kids, but I wonder if Isaac will even remember her. I have really vague memories of my grandfather, he died when I was 18 months old...but I'm not sure if the memories are really true or more a reflection of what people have told me.

The kids were amazing on the entire trip. I couldn't have asked for more from them. Great travellers they are. Granted, they got restless and wanted to be more on the go than I was always wanting to be, but they are kids and I was pushing my own agenda on them a lot. Visiting, shopping, shopping, driving...they were great. I was really shocked by how easy Isaac was on Sunday back at Holy Trinity. Before we moved, I remember how tough Sunday mornings were. He hated to sit, wanted to be around the overhead projector, didn't like Sunday School (and I didn't blame him, it wasn't working well.) Last Sunday, it was like a different kid! He was fine with sitting until the Children's focus time, participated in the Sunday School class (which is doing great!) and was even easy to handle during coffee hour! Amazing what 7 months can do in a little guy. Norah was just her charming self as usual, smiling at everyone. I so hope and pray that this next baby is even half as easy as Norah is.

Ok, need to get to bed.