upcoming birth crankiness

So, I'm stuck with a c-section again. Don't want it...mostly. There are a couple of advantages - I know the date and that helps with planning. I won't go overdue by 2 weeks or more again. That's it for the advantages though.

The downsides are much more plentiful. Pain, major surgery, long recovery, pain, risk of infection and complications....it goes on. I don't want to go through it again.

And why am I stuck? Well, stupid *policy*. So many hospitals are refusing to do VBACs now (vaginal birth after c-section...sorry, that's the term!) and there are many doctors who won't do them either. The risk of uterine rupture is too high. Um...it's like 1%, maybe slightly higher because I've had 2 c-sections already. The risk of other complications in birth are higher than rupture. But because I've had 2 c-sections, and one was within 2 calendar years of this baby's birth, I have to have surgery. Blech.

People have suggested that I just refuse the surgery, go into labor on my own and show up at the hospital nearly fully dialated. Not really an option though. Not here. At this hospital, where they can't really handle a fully, emergency c-section. I'm not fully willing to take that risk - it's still my baby we are dealing with, and my life too. Just such a pain that I'm not even given an option, because I'm *high risk*.

Ug, high risk. I'm 30, healthy, with amazingly great pregnancies. Perfect blood pressure, blood sugar levels. I have no real reason to be a high risk pregnancy. Just cranky about this. Very cranky.